


girls with tattoos who like getting in trouble

by sapphicbenoist



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Kinda, Nicole sells drugs, Smoking, and she has tattoos, some are secret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-01-14 17:11:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18480679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicbenoist/pseuds/sapphicbenoist
Summary: "So, tell me something." Nicole prompted. Waverly raised an eyebrow. "Is that cheerleading uniform comfortable?"Waverly sighed, smiling a fake smile to keep herself calm. "Why does it matter?"Nicole shrugged. "I mean, don't get me wrong. It's cute. It just seems uncomfortable."Waverly felt her face flush at Nicole's words."I like your regular clothes better, though." She pointed out."Are you done?" Waverly asked.Nicole smirked. "Yup."ORthe one where Nicole sells drugs





	1. pick the best one and go with it

**Author's Note:**

> wynhaught is, of course, best friends - if you can't tell.
> 
> if this chapter does good by the time i go to work tonight, I'll upload a second chapter. I have five written already and I'm in love with this idea.

It was one of _those_ days.

 

Nicole didn't feel like school, she didn't feel like friends, she didn't feel like human interaction.

 

Although, _those_ days were _everyday_ recently.

 

School was dragging. Nicole was almost positive she wasn't going to graduate and frankly, she didn't care. 

 

What did she have going for her? She already got kicked off of the basketball team. That was her one way ticket to college. All her parents did was argue and complain about how she's not doing _this_ and she needs to do _that._ Her father barely made it home every night due to whatever woman he'd found in a bar or at work. Her mother acted like she didn't care. Like she didn't know what he was doing and all of his lies about having to stay late at the office were believable.

 

Her home was breaking more and more each day. Nicole couldn't stand being there.

 

She'd lost all her friends at school except for maybe a few. The ones she did hangout with and make an effort to see, just wanted to party or get high all the time.

 

Which led Nicole here, in Wynonna Earps living room, rolling a blunt.

 

Nicole hated blunts. Not for the reason most people do. She _loved_ smoking weed. Forgetting all of her problems with each hit probably wasn't the best coping mechanism, but it worked. Even if it was temporary.

 

She hated the taste of the tobacco leaf. It was different than cigarettes, stronger. Sometimes her throat would burn if she took too big of a hit and it left a nasty taste in her mouth. She'd rather smoke a joint.

 

Wynonna loved them, though. She was the only one Nicole didn't mind smoking with. She didn't trip shit or get paranoid at the sound of sirens in the distance. She was relaxed and calm — when she didn't want to do something reckless like steal a car or break into some abandoned building on the outskirts of Purgatory. But sometimes reckless was good. It kept Nicole sane, doing something most people wouldn't.

 

She had nothing going for her.

 

"What class are you skipping?"

 

Nicole shrugged. "Clooties stupid Latin class."

 

She heard Wynonna snort before the flick of a lighter sounded through the room and smoke was escaping her lungs.

 

The first hit is always the best. You hardly feel anything at first, which is what makes it so satisfying to some people.

 

Nicole gratefully accepted the blunt, taking a few hits before passing it back.

 

This was their routine. They'd skip class, sometimes even the whole day, smoke and then return to school if they felt like it. Latin was Nicole's last class of the day and she'd been dreading going to it since this morning. So, when Wynonna asked if she had _anything_ , Nicole took the opportunity to not attend the stupid class and go to the Earps instead. Gus was hardly ever home anymore. Wynonna and Waverly basically lived on their own.

 

Waverly tried her best to keep Wynonna on the good side of life, not letting her fall into the crowd of drop outs and misfits before she even had a chance to get her life together. And as much as Wynonna cared about what Waverly thought and said, she didn't care about her own life.

 

Which, is what made her and Nicole such good friends.

 

"How much have you made this week?"

 

Nicole pulled the wad of cash out of her pocket and handed it to Wynonna. She'd been selling for a while but the money had never been as good as it is now. Most of it was just seniors trying to get something to ease the stress on their backs from trying to graduate. Or the parties.

 

Never before had Nicole thought about selling drugs at a party. It didn't even click in her mind until she overheard someone at school talking about needing a supplier for a big party they'd be throwing that weekend. It was the perfect opportunity and Nicole jumped on the chance to take it.

 

"Dude, there's almost a thousand grand here." Wynonna sounded incredulous.

 

Nicole shrugged. "Yeah. That's just from this week. I'm hoping someone will need some this weekend."

 

She never thought about what she'd do with the cash. Maybe, get a car or a one way ticket out of town after graduation — if she even attended graduation.

 

"Let me sell for you." Wynonna offered. "Henry has friends that smoke, maybe I can get some of them to buy some. Or if you have anything stronger.." She trailed off.

 

Nicole laughed. "What highschool student needs something stronger?"

 

"They're in college." Wynonna pointed out. "Besides, do you know how much you'd be making if you widened your supply? Dude, dabs or shrooms would sell like candy."

 

The words she was saying we're convincing. Especially if Nicole _did_ want to leave Purgatory. But what would she do outside of this shitty town?

 

And if either one of them had been paying attention, they would've heard the car pull into the driveway, the engine cutting, paired with a slam of the car door. But they weren't paying attention. Nicole was too entranced in the thoughts running through her head to even notice the keys jiggling into the lock and the front door opening.

 

Wynonna noticed, though. It was such a familiar sound by now, she couldn't miss it if she tried.

 

If it would've been a few months ago, both girls probably would've panicked upon Waverly's surprise homecoming. At this point, neither of them cared. Wynonna would hear whatever argument Waverly had to offer for the rest of the day and after that, it would be long forgotten.

 

Nicole never had to deal with it. She'd give Wynonna a bag or two and be on her way while Waverly glared at her as she walked past.

 

"Why am I not surprised you're here?" Waverly crossed her arms, leaning against the doorway. She looked beautiful in simple clothes, different from her cheerleading uniform. Nicole's stomach did a flip.

 

"When am I not here?" Nicole shrugged. She handed the blunt to Wynonna. "Keep it. I can get more."

 

Waverly rolled her eyes at the interaction as Nicole stood up, gathering her things and shoving all of it into her hoodie pocket.

 

"Do you two ever think about your future? Or the fact that maybe you shouldn't be skipping class just to smoke?" She tried.

 

Nicole snorted. "You look good today. I like this better than the uniform." She didn't miss the blush that spread across Waverly's face as Nicole walked past her.

 

"Dude, gross. That's my sister." Wynonna groaned.

 

"I'll see you guys around." Nicole smirked, turning the doorknob without a second thought.

  
  


——

  
  


Nicole _hated_ visiting the office. She already knew what was coming and what would be said, what was the point in attending?

 

But Principal Lucado was adamant on her showing up. Mainly because if she didn't, she'd get detention and Nicole didn't want to spend another second in this school that she didn't have to.

 

The familiar smell of the office filled Nicole's senses. She hated it. It reminded her of her grandmother's house. It smelled of old people. Whoever thought it was appealing was wrong.

 

The chairs were uncomfortable. It was hot compared to outside and Nicole was sweating. She was sure she'd die of a heatstroke if Lucado didn't walk in when she did.

 

"Nicole Haught." She greeted.

 

"Lucado."

 

The blonde dropped a file onto her desk. Nicole knew what was in it. Dozens of absences, tardies, bad grades. A failed basketball career.

 

"I'd like to have a chat with you." She smiled. Nicole knew it was fake.

 

"Chat away."

 

Lucado opened up the file, skimming through it. Nicole knew she didn't have to, it was just for appearance. Everyone knew her record by now. None of it was secret.

 

"I noticed something about you." She clasped her hands together. "After you got kicked off the team, you stopped showing up to school. Before that, you had straight A's, perfect attendence. We didn't have any problems with you."

 

"I guess." Nicole shrugged.

 

"You got yourself kicked off, Nicole. Now, you're not showing up to class, you're getting in fights, you're setting a bad reputation for yourself."

 

Nicole rolled her eyes. The amount of times she's heard these exact words was unbelievable at this point.

 

"Your grades are falling and if you don't get them back up to at least a C, you're not going to graduate." She informed her. "I'll have no option but to hold you back another year."

 

"That's funny."

 

Lucado quirked an eyebrow. "What is?"

 

"That you think I'd show up for another year if I fail this one." Nicole chuckled. "Is that all?"

 

"Nicole-"

 

"Are we done?" She questioned again.

 

"We're done."

 

"Great." Nicole smiled tight lipped while getting up. "Have a good day, Ms. Lucado."

  
  


——

  
  


It was like clockwork.

 

Nicole passed the blunt to Wynonna as she counted out a few bags and bills.

 

The only thing that was different this time was that Waverly was there. She wasn't complaining or giving either of them the third degree about what smoking does to your body. She was quietly doing her homework at the table in the dining room.

 

"Lucado says I'm gonna fail." Nicole hit the blunt again.

 

"So?"

 

"So," Nicole started. "I _can't_ fail."

 

"I thought you didn't care about school?" Wynonna quirked an eyebrow.

 

"I care about what my parents will say when they find out I'm not graduating. You think they'd kill me for skipping, you have no idea what my dad would do if I don't walk across that stage this spring."

 

Wynonna coughed. "Dude, we could just run away together."

 

Nicole laughed. "Yeah, right."

 

"Why don't you get tutor?" Waverly's voice through the room. She was standing in the doorway now. "And would you guys _please_ open a window? That stuff stinks."

 

Nicole smirked and pointed to the window. "You're right there."

 

Waverly scoffed but opened the window anyway.

 

"Besides, I don't have anyone to tutor me. I can't exactly afford one."

 

"Oh. So, selling drugs isn't a good source of income?" Waverly joked. Nicole rolled her eyes. "I'll tutor you."

 

Wynonna was just as shocked as Nicole. "You'll, what?"

  
  


——

  
  


Maybe it was a mistake, offering to tutor Nicole. Waverly was only trying to be a good person. She knew the redhead had something going for her, she just needed a little push.

 

But as much as Nicole stressed about wanting to graduate, she didn't seem to care as much now.

 

Waverly has spent the past hour trying to get Nicole to focus on anything other than shamelessly flirting with her.

 

"Don't you want to graduate? Or is failing part of your personality now?" Waverly glared.

 

Nicole rolled her eyes. "Fine."

 

Finally, she started paying attention. She'd listen to Waverly's words and write down what she felt she wouldn't remember. Waverly knew it was pointless to even try if Nicole didn't care but she couldn't just let her fail without helping.

 

Nicole was smart. Street and book. Waverly knew that. She knew the redhead just needed someone else to believe it, too. And she did.

 

She's seen Nicole's grades from before. Straight A's with all advanced classes was a hard thing to keep up with but somehow she did, juggling basketball on top of all of it.

 

Once she got kicked off the team, though. It's like something in her switched. She didn't care anymore. She didn't keep up with her friends, grades, classes, social interactions. Waverly was surprised she even hung out with Wynonna as much as she did.

 

"So, tell me something." Nicole prompted. Waverly raised an eyebrow. "Is that cheerleading uniform comfortable?"

 

Waverly sighed, smiling a fake smile to keep herself calm. "Why does it matter?"

 

Nicole shrugged. "I mean, don't get me wrong. It's cute. It just seems uncomfortable."

 

Waverly felt her face flush at Nicole's words.

 

"I like your regular clothes better, though." She pointed out.

 

"Are you done?" Waverly asked.

 

Nicole smirked. "Yup."

 

Waverly tried her best to focus on the work in front of her but once Nicole stopped talking, she got bored. It was unusual for her to not like doing homework. But she had questions and none of them were schoolwork related.

 

She tapped her foot annoyingly while sloppily writing down a few answers to her calculus questions.

 

"Will you stop that?" Nicole didn't look up from her paper.

 

"Stop what?"

 

"Tapping your foot."

 

Waverly's face flushed. She was _really_ starting to hate her body for having these reactions.

 

"Okay." Waverly settled. "I have a question."

 

Nicole quirked an eyebrow, dropping her pencil on top of her latin book.

 

"Why'd you _really_ get kicked off the team?"

 

"What have you heard?"

 

Waverly's mind flashed through dozens of rumors she'd heard that day. _Nicole quit. She couldn't pass a drug test. She was cheating, so coach benched her._

 

"Rumors." Was all Waverly could answer.

 

Nicole shrugged. "Pick the best one and go with it. That's what everyone else does."

 

Waverly didn't push.

  
  


——

  
  


Nicole's little side business was finally starting to pick up. Wynonna's idea was a constant thought in the back of her head.

 

Selling something stronger would make her more money and if she wanted a car before it started getting too warm, she'd have to find a way to make more money. Considering her grades were dropping and she was barely attending school, she couldn't get an actual job. No place in Purgatory would hire her anyway.

 

She knew what people said. She heard the talk flooding around town. Nicole was a nobody now. A nobody with a bad reputation of selling drugs and hanging out with Wynonna Earp.

 

It was her fault. She knew it was. She didn't have to do what she was doing. There wasn't an excuse other than, she wanted to.

 

The hallways of Ghost River High were empty and quiet. Nicole loved the silence. No one was talking or yelling, the football players weren't running around, no one was bumping into her as she tried to get through the crowds.

 

The perfect place to do a drug deal.

 

Champ Hardy was dumb, purely stupid. He didn't know the different between good and bad weed and Nicole used that to her advantage. Charging him five dollars more for her worst strain.

 

He gladly handed the money over, though. He was only buying it for him and his friends to get a little high before a game. A stupid idea, Nicole thought. But she'd sell to him anyway. Because what he did in his free time wasn't her responsibility.

 

"I heard you're getting something stronger." He mumbled lowly. The halls echoed easily when no one was in it.

 

"How'd you hear that?"

 

"I have people." Was all he said before he darted off down the hallway.

 

Nicole wasn't expecting to see Waverly leaning up against the lockers a few feet in front of her. She would've never done the deal if she knew Waverly was watching.

 

She had respect, after all. Even if she didn't show it.

 

"You're selling at school?" Waverly was cute when she got mad.

 

"One time." Nicole pointed out. Because it had only been one time, this time. She'd never thought about doing it before. Never on school grounds, always in an empty parking lot outside of downtown.

 

"One time is all it takes to get you expelled, Nicole. God, I'm so stupid."

 

"What?"

 

Waverly rolled her eyes, crossing her arms as she closed in on Nicole. "I thought you wanted to graduate. I thought tutoring you would help. I thought you _wanted_ help."

 

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows. "Waverly-"

 

"You know what, Nicole? Sell your drugs, flunk out of school, don't graduate. I really don't care. You can't say I didn't try."

 

"Can you at least let me explain?"

 

"I don't need an explanation, I just watched you do it."

 

Heels clicked down the hallway and if Nicole was alone, she would've stayed where she was without a care in the world. But Waverly was here. Waverly, who had perfect grades, perfect attendence, a perfect reputation. Waverly, who everyone liked. Waverly, who couldn't be seen cutting class with Nicole Haught.

 

So, without thinking, she grabbed the shorter girls wrist and pulled her into the girls bathroom.

 

"What are you-"

 

"Shh!" Nicole widened her eyes, trying her best to listen into the hallway.

 

A girl Nicole didn't recognize walked out of one of the stalls. The judgemental look on her face would've made Nicole laugh in any other situation but she wasn't judging Nicole, she was judging Waverly. Because Waverly was with Nicole.

 

A sight to see, for sure.

 

Once the girl exited the bathroom, Nicole let out a breath. "I'd rather not have you getting caught with me right after I sold drugs to your ex boyfriend."

 

Waverly rolled her eyes. "I can take care of myself, Nicole."

 

"Okay." Nicole nodded, annoyed. "Then, go ahead. Go walking through the hallway like you're not fifteen minutes late for class."

 

She knew Waverly was stubborn but she didn't _actually_ expect her to leave. Nicole groaned and trailed behind her.

 

Which, turned out to be a mistake as they ran head first into Lucado. The one woman Nicole didn't want to see today.

 

The blonde checked her wristwatch, Nicole knew they were in trouble. She quirked an eyebrow as her eyes flicked between the two girls.

 

"Do I need an explanation?"

 

Nicole sighed. "I was using the bathroom." She tried.

 

Waverly scoffed next to her. "I didn't feel like going to class today."

 

Nicole's eyes practically fell out of the sockets.

 

Lucado crossed her arms. "Waverly, I know that's not true."

 

"It is." She smiled. "I really just didn't want to go and I heard the bathroom is the perfect place to skip."

 

The blonde was quiet for a few minutes, probably trying to figure out what to do.

 

"We have a no skipping policy. You both have detention this Friday."

 

"Friday?"

 

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

 

"It's just, I kinda have a game on Friday." Waverly informed her. "Yanno, being a cheerleader and whatnot."

 

"Should've thought about that before you skipped."

 

_So much for not getting detention,_ Nicole thought.


	2. it's been a long day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: when I lived with my dad, my friends and i would go to an abandoned hospital in our city and smoke. oops.

Nicole had gotten a car but at what cost? She had to attend detention or else she'd _definitely_ get suspended and she couldn't afford for that to happen right now.

 

She didn't know what Waverly was thinking. Her brain was clouded with confusion as she tried to figure out why the girl had lied in the first place.

 

But now, Waverly was mad at her. When technically, it wasn't even her fault that they got detention. If they would've stayed in the bathroom, they would've been fine.

 

When she sat down at the desk next to Waverly's, the shorter girl rolled her eyes. She was ignoring her.

 

Nicole was used to being ignored. It wasn't anything new to her. But sweet, bubbly Waverly ignoring someone was new to anyone.

 

"Okay, tell me what I did." Nicole whispered.

 

Waverly scoffed. "You do know where we're at, right?"

 

Nicole looked around the small classroom. The teacher wasn't in yet and there were hardly any students. Nicole was bold but never would she skip detention.

 

"School?" She tried.

 

"This is _your_ fault. I could be at a game right now."

 

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows. "Okay, wait." She paused. "You're the one that lied to Lucado and said you were skipping. That had absolutely nothing to do with me."

 

"You're the one that was selling drugs in the hallway!" She whisper yelled.

 

Nicole groaned. "I really don't understand how that has anything to do with this." She rubbed her eyes.

 

"You wear this badass, _I don't care about anything,_ persona and I really don't understand it, Nicole. I know you have feelings. I know you care. Why do you do this to yourself?"

 

"How is this abo-"

 

"Okay, everyone. Detention starts now. There's a no talking rule and you have to be doing something productive. We'll be here for an hour so let's not cause any problems, people." The teacher spoke, closing the door and taking his seat behind the desk.

 

_It's gonna be a long day._

  
  


——

  
  


Waverly hadn't planned on getting detention. She'd never had it before and if she knew it was _this_ boring, she wouldn't have lied to Lucado. But at the same time, she didn't think Lucado would give _her_ detention.

 

She'd be lying if she said she didn't use her reputation to her advantage. Everyone loved her, for no reason honestly, and that fact gave her a pass for almost every bad thing she could do. Getting detention was one of them.

 

Waverly had been caught running late to class numerous times. Mainly because of Champ. The man was relentless and once he had an idea in his head, he stuck by it. Making out behind the bleachers wouldn't have been worth it if she would've gotten in trouble every time she'd been late.

 

In all honesty, she wasn't even sure why she lied. She didn't need to. She could've just explained what was going on, let Nicole take the fall for it. Something in her wouldn't let her, though.

 

Nicole had been in detention dozens of times. She'd gotten in trouble, put in handcuffs, kicked out of class more times than Waverly could count. Still, she always continued doing it. For what reason? Waverly wanted to see what the hype was about.

 

Turns out, there is no hype.

 

Waverly was _bored_ out of her mind. Even with homework in front of her. She blew through it faster than she ever has and there was still thirty minutes left in this damn classroom.

 

The silence was killing her.

 

It didn't help that Nicole was tapping her pencil on the desk like it was some sort of drum set and she couldn't even tell her to stop.

 

She laid her head in her right hand, staring at the redhead. She was so caught in her daydream, she didn't even realize Waverly was looking at her.

 

Nicole was beautiful. Her hair fell freely, a bit knotted and messy. Her skin was pale from malnourishment. Waverly knew she barely ate and if she did, it was hardly anything good for her. Her nails were chipped and clipped unevenly. But all of it was _Nicole._ It made her who she was and she didn't apologize for any of it. Beautiful.

 

She watched as the redhead slipped off her black hoodie. She ran her fingers through her hair, flipping it to one side. Waverly's eyes trailed down her jawline to her neck then down to her left arm.

 

Waverly never noticed it before but right there on her bicep was a tattoo.

 

_Leviticus 18:22_

 

Waverly furrowed her eyebrows at the Bible verse placed across the girls skin. She wasn't familiar with the Bible off the top of her head but Nicole didn't seem like the religious type.

 

Something inside Waverly burned with desire as her eyes never strayed from the black print.

 

She shook her head and mentally chastised herself for the thoughts that were forming in her brain, making a mental note to ask Nicole about the tattoo.

  
  


——

  
  


When the teacher said they could talk for the last ten minutes of detention, relief flushed over Nicole. She was used to the silence of the classroom and most of the time, she was happy to just sit there. But Waverly was _right_ next to her and for the past forty-five minutes she'd come up with about twenty things to ask the brunette.

 

"I'm sorry I made you miss your game." Nicole apologized. Even though not a single part of her believed she was the one at fault.

 

Waverly shrugged. "It's fine. It's the same thing as last week."

 

"Why'd you lie?" Nicole asked quickly. If she didn't, she probably would've never gotten it out. "I mean, you didn't have to. Lucado would've let you go."

 

"I wanted to see what it was like." She answered simply. "You've been here a lot. It's boring, yet you still get yourself in here somehow."

 

"Better than going to class with a bunch of people I hate being around."

 

"You don't hate being around anyone here?" Waverly gestured to a few other kids spread throughout the room.

 

Most of them were people that bought from Nicole. People she'd met because she started selling. If her life wouldn't have drastically changed, she wouldn't even know half of these people, let alone their names.

 

Nicole was different back then. Popular. She hung out with jocks, people from her team. She was friends with the cheerleaders, maybe even more. She had a girlfriend back then. Someone that actually cared about her well being.

 

She wouldn't have even bothered to learn any of these kids stories if it wasn't for the fact, she was one of them now. The ones that people look at like they're failures. Because technically, they are.

 

They have nothing going for them.

 

"They're not bad people." Nicole said quietly. "All of us just went down the wrong path and never bothered to dig ourselves back out, I guess."

 

"But you want to, right? I mean, you're trying. You're letting me tutor you. You even showed up to school today." Waverly pointed out.

 

Nicole shrugged. "If that's how you wanna look at it. I'm really only here so my parents don't kill me."

 

"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate your house?"

 

Nicole laughed, shaking her head. "No, I don't believe you have."

 

Waverly took her chair and scooted closer to Nicole's desk. "Well, I do. Your parents treat you like shit. They don't even bother to ask how you're doing, right? I mean, you're selling drugs and they don't even know. They could at least be a little more invested."

 

Waverly was right, Nicole knew. But it didn't matter. Nicole had been arrested so many times, you'd think that would get her parents attention. Wynonna had been the one bailing her out with whatever leftover money she'd found around the homestead.

 

Wynonna was the only one there for her anymore. The only one that seemed to care.

 

Now, Waverly was here. For reasons Nicole couldn't figure out. The brunette never seemed to care before. She barely batted an eyelash at Nicole and as far as she was concerned, Waverly hated her. At least, she acted like she did. Even now, Nicole wasn't sure what they were. It couldn't be called a friendship. Friends talk, hang out, know each other. The only thing Waverly knew about her was what she heard around school. Which was everything but true.

 

"Do you want a ride home? I know Wynonna took the Jeep. You shouldn't walk alone." Nicole tried.

 

A smile hinted at Waverly's lips. "Can we get food first? I'm starving."

 

Nicole chuckled. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

  
  


——

  
  


If anyone would've told Nicole even just a week ago that she'd be hanging out in a Hooters parking lot outside of Purgatory with Waverly on a Friday night, she would've laughed in their face.

 

A regular Friday night to Nicole didn't look like this. Usually, she'd either be at home, selling, or at the homestead smoking with Wynonna while planning out what illegal thing they're going to do next.

 

The parking lot was anything but empty. After any kind of game, most of the players and their girlfriend's or friends would end up here before heading off to some party. It was packed and loud and if Nicole had a choice, she'd be anywhere but here.

 

It brought back too many memories. Seeing kids hopping in the tailgates of trucks with hands full of food and drinks, hooting and hollering about winning. Smoke flooded through the air from the lit cigarettes, or something else.

 

If Nicole was alone, she'd be selling. It was the perfect place and perfect opportunity.

 

"You can go, you know." Waverly said. "If you wanna go make a business deal or whatever you call it."

 

Nicole laughed and leaned back in the seat of her car. It was an old Corvette that probably should've sold for more if the lady that Nicole got it from knew what she was doing. She told Nicole some story about her son buying it before he went off to the service, he never returned. She wanted to get rid of it before she died and Nicole felt a little guilty for taking it for just a grand but once she drove it, all that guilt flew out the opened windows.

 

"I'm fine where I'm at." She responded. Her eyes closed unwillingly, she was tired. Nowadays, sleep wasn't a priority.

 

"Do you have drugs on you?"

 

Nicole's eyes cracked open, she raised an eyebrow. "What?"

 

"Well, if you have drugs with you. I don't see why you wouldn't sell them. There's so many people here that would buy some right now."

 

"Waverly Earp, are you encouraging me to partake in an illegal drug deal?"

 

"Is there anything such as a legal drug deal?"

 

"I learned my lesson about selling drugs in front of you. Besides, if anyone wanted some, they'd find me."

 

"Okay." Waverly smiled mischievously, something Nicole should've known meant trouble as Waverly crawled out of the car.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

Waverly rounded the car, opening the driver's side door and pulling Nicole out by her arm.

 

" _We,_ " She corrected. "Are gonna go participate in whatever celebration I should be at but didn't get to attend because you got my ass thrown in detention."

 

"Again, not my fault." Nicole pointed out.

 

Waverly interlaced their fingers, sending sparks up Nicole's arm and dragged her into the center of the parking lot.

 

Nicole spotted the same girl from the bathroom the other day, blonde and clad in a cheerleading uniform now. Someone Waverly must know because she walked right up to her, never letting go of Nicole's hand.

 

"Nicole, this is Stephanie. She's new and guess what she's into?"

 

Nicole shot her a questioning look.

 

"What you're selling."

 

"Waverly, this-"

 

Waverly groaned. "Do you want money or not?"

 

"Wynonna would kill me for getting you into this."

 

Waverly smiled. "Good thing I'm not in it, then."

  
  


——

  
  


By the time they left, Nicole had pocketed nearly two hundred dollars and Waverly was adamant on not letting her forget that it was her idea in the first place.

 

"I bought you food and I'm giving you a ride home. I think we're even." Nicole pointed out.

 

"Not nearly." Waverly laughed. "Plus, you didn't even buy yourself food."

 

"I wasn't hungry."

 

Nicole flicked on her headlights after she turned the engine on, pulling out of the parking lot carefully. When she was by herself, Nicole didn't care how she drove. If she was in the middle of the road, it wasn't a problem unless cops were around. But Waverly was in the passenger seat and she wasn't going to get the girl killed after just developing some sort of friendship with her.

 

"Can I ask you a question?"

 

"You just did."

 

"Okay." Waverly said. "What's the tattoo on your arm mean?"

 

For the first time in a while, Nicole blushed. She knew Waverly noticed by the amused look on her face.

 

"It's a Bible verse."

 

"No, really? I couldn't tell." Waverly rolled her eyes. "What does the verse say?"

 

Nicole shrugged. "It's not really important."

 

"Out of all the things you're closed off about, I didn't think a tattoo would be one of them."

 

"I'm not closed off." Nicole rebutted.

 

"You are. You don't talk about yourself. Any question I have that's about you, you deflect or you start flirting with me thinking I won't notice."

 

Nicole smirked. She pulled up to a red light. "I don't see you telling me not to flirt."

 

"It's a good distraction but it won't work on me." Waverly smiled sweetly, fake.

 

Nicole laughed. "Yeah, okay."

  
  


——

  
  


Much like smoking with Wynonna, bringing Waverly to school in the mornings became a routine. She was fully capable of taking her Jeep but she gave Nicole some bullshit story about the battery in it going to shit. Nicole chose to believe it, even if she knew it was a lie. Even if she knew, technically, she could fix it for Waverly.

 

She welcomed the added time spent with the cheerleader.

 

Nicole had tried to get Wynonna to come with them in the mornings, to no avail. Wynonna was just as much of a lost cause as Nicole at this point. If it wasn't for the fact she was bringing Waverly to school, she probably wouldn't attend herself.

 

She'd still skip a few classes. Just because she could and most of the time, someone would get the homework for her and she'd turn it in when she felt like going.

 

Waverly, of course, had something to say about it. But this semester was almost over. Nicole will go to her next classes, she swears.

 

Nicole handed the blunt to Wynonna as Waverly hopped down the stairs. She wasn't wearing her uniform, Nicole noted. Technically, she wasn't even following the rules. Ripped jeans were against dress code and Waverly knew that just as much as anyone else.

 

If Wynonna wasn't sitting right there, Nicole probably would've stared longer.

 

"You ready?"

 

"Yeah." Nicole nodded. "Are you coming?" She asked Wynonna.

 

"Nope." Wynonna picked up a white sheet of paper, handing it to Nicole. "Suspended."

 

She could practically see Waverly rolling her eyes as she read the printed text.

 

"They suspended you for three days all because you cussed out a teacher? That easy, huh?"

 

Waverly snatched the paper from Nicole. "Don't even think about it." She gave Nicole a gentle push towards the door. "I'll talk to you later." She glared at Wynonna.

 

"So, she gets a talk and I'm not even allowed to think about it? That's unfair." Nicole joked.

 

Waverly pulled on her jean jacket as she closed the door behind her. "You need to get your grades back up before this semester is over. No skipping, no missing, no detention. Remember?"

 

"Yes, mom."

 

"Can I drive?" Waverly asked. "You were smoking."

 

Nicole shrugged. She knew she was fully capable of driving while high. She'd barely took a hit, but she tossed Waverly the keys anyway. If it made the brunette feel safer, whatever.

 

The drive from the homestead to school was short and with Waverly's driving, shorter than it should be. The parking lot was barely full when they pulled up. Kids were crowded around the doors, some were sitting on the benches out front smoking cigarettes before the bell rang.

 

"So, I found out what your tattoo means."

 

Nicole smirked. "It intrigues you that much, huh?"

 

"Why do you have an anti-homosexuality Bible verse tattooed on your arm?"

 

The way Waverly worded it made Nicole laugh harder than she had in years. "Funny story, actually."

  
  


_It was a Thursday_ _. Another day where Nicole didn't go to class. Instead, she attended a college party with Wynonna and her friends. She wasn't going to drink, she was just going to sell. Maybe pick up a cute girl or two while she was there._

 

_All that changed when she stepped into the party, though._

 

_The basement was crowded with people. So many that Nicole could hardly breathe. She saw the drugs, the drinks, everything being passed around. She'd never been to a party like_ _this. So reckless, so careless. Like no one could get caught doing what they were doing even though they were right underneath the college._

 

_Wynonna suggested it. Getting a tattoo. Nicole almost said no._

 

_She'd just came out to her parents. Everyone at school already knew. It wasn't a secret. They could tell without even speaking to her. But her parents, God, we're they clueless._

 

_Her father hated anything that wasn't considered normal, being gay was a part of that spectrum._

 

_At first, Nicole wasn't even going to come out_ _. She'd planned on keeping it a secret until she graduated, until she left_ _Purgatory and didn't have to depend on anybody but herself._

 

_But her mom has been begging her to get a boyfriend._ _'Bring a sweet boy home from a big family.'_

 

_Even though their family was falling apart and no one cared enough to fix it._

 

_So, she told her. The words slipped out before Nicole could think about them and the look on her mother's face made her feel guilty for being who she was._

 

_Her dad found out within the hour_ _. Her mother never could keep her mouth shut._

 

_The arguments lasted for days._ _'You're confused.'_ _'You haven't met the right one yet.'_ _'You're still young.' 'It's wrong, the Bible says so.'_

 

_Nicole couldn't stand it. Being told she wasn't allowed to be who she was. Nicole wasn't confused, she'd liked girls for as long as she could remember._

 

_So, when Wynonna said she wanted to get a tattoo, Nicole went along with it. What's better than your parents hating you for more than just your sexuality?_

 

_If the Bible said she couldn't be gay, why not get it put on her body? A bit ironic, right?_

 

"So, you got a tattoo condemning homosexuality because your parents told you you couldn't be gay?" Waverly quirked an eyebrow.

 

"Yeah, it was stupid and I was drunk. Technically, it's your sisters fault."

 

After a long pause, Waverly spoke. "I think I finally figured you out, Nicole Haught."

 

"Oh, yeah? Do tell."

 

"Your dad said you can't be gay, so you get a tattoo saying the exact same thing all while being gay. I've been telling you to go to class, get your grades up, stop selling drugs and you haven't stopped doing any of that. You break the rules because people tell you not to."

 

Nicole laughed. "Sure."

  
  


——

  
  


Wednesday. The middle of the week. Two days until Friday. Two days until the game. Two days until whatever party whoever was hosting.

 

Waverly was tired, exhausted. Physically, she was fine. Mentally, she was anything but.

 

She was starting to understand why Nicole hated coming to school.

 

Every face she passed in the hallway had something to say about her. Rumors spread like wildfire about her hanging out with Nicole. She knew before that someone would say something.

 

Perfect Waverly hanging out with Nicole Haught, drug dealer, thief, drop out. Yeah, the rumors would start.

 

But never once did she expect them to be so bad.

 

The amount of times she's heard someone say she's secretly gay and dating Nicole was ridiculous. It didn't help that she broke up with Champ right before she decided to become friends with the redhead.

 

Waverly didn't usually care what people said. She'd heard shit her entire life. Her last name wasn't exactly popular for her family riches. It didn't help that Wynonna made a name for Waverly before she even had a chance.

 

Class was dragging and she felt like she was back in detention.

 

_Detention would be better than this._

 

"Waves." Chrissy whispered next to her.

 

"What?" Waverly snapped. "Sorry."

 

Chrissy held her hands up in a surrender position. "Nevermind."

 

"No talking. We're in the middle of a test." The teacher, Mr. Del Ray, spoke.

 

When the bell rang, Waverly sighed in relief. She had study hall next and she didn't technically have to be here for that. As much as she hated the fact that Nicole skipped, she planned on finding her and leaving with her anyway. What was one day?

 

The hallways were crowded and the second Waverly opened her locker, the whispering started. She rolled her eyes as she heard some kid whisper something about _Champ being better than some lesbian with parent issues._

 

She jumped when she closed her locker. Chrissy stood next to her, a bright smile on her face.

 

"Way to be creepy." Waverly mumbled.

 

"I have a very important question and I don't want any bullshit answers."

 

"I'll see what I can do."

 

Chrissy got closer, minimizing the amount of people that could overhear what she was about to say.

 

"Okay, be real with me. What's actually going on with you and Nicole?"

 

Waverly huffed. "Nothing. We're friends."

 

"Friends isn't _nothing,_ Waves." She pointed out. "You got detention for the first time ever with her. Now, you guys are all buddy-buddy."

 

"I'm tutoring her." Waverly explained. "We were both in the hallway at the same time and Lucado sent us to detention cause she thought we were skipping. We're just friends who got detention one time together."

 

"You know she sells drugs, right?"

 

"Yes, Chrissy. I'm well aware. I don't see what that has to do with me."

 

Chrissy sighed. "Waverly, she's dangerous."

 

Waverly has heard those words a thousand times today and she was _so_ tired. "Have you bothered to talk to her? Even just for five minutes. Have a normal conversation with her like she's a normal person, because she is, might I add. She's not dangerous just because she feeds into yours and everyone else's Friday night fun." Waverly snapped. "I gotta go."

 

"Waves, wait-"

 

Waverly was down the hallway in record time, rounding the corner to where she knew Nicole's next class would be.

 

She saw Nicole leaned against her locker talking to some guy. She knew what was about to happen and frankly, she didn't care that she was interrupting. Nicole could sell drugs another day.

 

Quickly, she walked up to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her the opposite direction.

 

"Wha-"

 

"Hey," She turned to the guy. "Call her later, she's busy." She kid scoffed as she took off down the hallway, dragging Nicole behind her.

 

"Waverly." She tried. No answer. When they pushed through the double doors, she stopped the shorter girl. "Waverly!"

 

"What!?" Waverly turned around.

 

"Class." Was all Nicole said.

 

"You've been skipping class all year. Do you really think going this one time is going to make a difference?"

 

"What happened to, y _ou need to get your shit together, Nicole._?"

 

"Will you take me somewhere?" Waverly asked. She wrapped her arms around her body as the wind blew, the cold air sending goosebumps up her spine. "Anywhere but here."

 

Nicole gave her a confused look but nodded anyway. She dug her keys out of her pocket as she followed Waverly to her car. "Where to?"

 

Waverly shrugged, turning the heat dial all the way up. "Where do you and Wynonna usually go when you're not at the homestead?"

  
  


——

  
  


Boy, did Waverly regret those words.

 

Nicole parked her car in an empty parking lot outside an abandoned building. It was tall and had a broken hospital sign on the front of it. Nearly all the windows were broken out of it but the building still seemed sturdy. It had definitely seen better days.

 

The surrounding area was filled with overgrown trees, grass and brush and if Waverly was allergic, she's sure she'd get poison something the minute she stepped through the dirt path.

 

"We don't have to go in." Nicole said. "Sometimes we just sit outside and smoke or throw rocks or something. We don't go in all the time."

 

"Do you come here at night?"

 

Nicole chuckled. "Yeah, sometimes. But only if we have more people. It's only fun with a group."

 

Waverly debated for a second before making up her mind. "Okay, let's go in."

 

Nicole seemed to know her way around the building like it was the back of her hand. She knew exactly where she was going and how to get there, pointing out rooms with memories behind them from when her and Wynonna would come here in the summer.

 

Outside, it was still light and there was noise from cars driving by or birds chirping in the distance. Inside, though. It was quiet, calming. Everything was still. The shadows from corners crept through the hallways where the light from the windows didn't hit.

 

And Waverly was freezing.

 

It felt colder than it was outside. It reminded her of dozens of football games she'd been to. Wearing only a cheerleading uniform in thirty degree weather was one of the worst things Waverly had to endure for a few hours.

 

Her nerves were on edge. With every creak, crack or footstep, she jumped. At some point, a few teenagers came running up the staircase while laughing. Nicole wasn't bothered. She's must've seen it thousands of times.

 

She grabbed Waverly's hand as they made their way further upstairs.

 

"Your hands are freezing." Nicole pointed out.

 

"It's freezing in here."

 

"It's the ghosts." It was a joke, but the wrong kind. The minute she said it, she could tell it bothered Waverly. "I'm kidding, Waverly. There's no ghosts."

 

Waverly scoffed. "We're in an abandoned hospital. Do you know how many people die in hospitals a year?"

 

"No, but I bet you're gonna tell me."

 

"Like two hundred thousand." She informed her. "And that's just from medical mistakes. Imagine how many people die naturally."

 

Nicole smiled. "If any ghosts pop out from dark corners, I'll protect you." They rounded the corner to the top floor.

 

"Great. I can't wait to get possessed." She said sarcastically.

 

She stopped behind Nicole as the redhead pulled off her hoodie. It was blue this time. Not the regular black one that Nicole always wore. Instead of her usual short sleeves, she was wearing a flannel.

 

_Very gay._ Waverly thought.

 

"Here." She handed the hoodie out to Waverly. "You're shaking and your hand is making my hand cold."

 

"I never told you to hold it." Waverly took the hoodie from Nicole and pulled it over her head. It smelled like Nicole, vanilla mixed with something else.

 

"Okay, I won't hold your hand." She said as she started walking. "But if a demon pops out and grabs you, it'll be your fault."

 

Waverly rolled her eyes and grabbed Nicole's hand. "Very funny."

 

"Scaredy cat."

 

After a few minutes of walking, they came to a door. When Nicole pushed it open, light hit Waverly's eyes, momentarily blinding her. She followed Nicole onto the roof.

 

The sun felt good. It still wasn't warm enough outside for short sleeves but Waverly finally stopped shivering.

 

"A lot of people go on the other side of the roof but me and Wynonna usually come here."

 

"Wynonna and I." Waverly corrected.

 

"Whatever." Nicole shrugged. "A lot of the time we throw rocks into the river and see who can make it the farthest. And I mean, we smoke."

 

Waverly looked around the building. They were barely below the treeline and everything below them looked so small, miniscule.

 

Suddenly, an idea popped in her head.

 

"Do you have weed?"

 

Nicole raised her eyebrows. "Maybe?"

 

Waverly reached into Nicole's hoodie pocket and pulled out a small bag, handing it to the redhead.

 

Vanilla mixed with weed.

 

"Can we smoke?"

 

Nicole smirked. "First, you drag me out of school and force me to skip class. Now, you wanna smoke? I thought you were supposed to be a good influence."

 

"It's been a long day."


	3. I don't think I'm straight

Waverly expected it to feel different, getting high. So many people she knew did it, she thought it would be a bigger deal. All it made her feel was tired, though.

 

She sat next to Nicole on an old busted generator on top of the hospital. The height was much scarier now. Waverly had never been scared of heights. She couldn't be, being a flyer for the cheerleading squad taught her that.

 

When the wind blew, the leaves on the trees would move and it would make Waverly laugh. For no reason whatsoever, everything was funny.

 

She expected more. Everyone always talked about how impaired people were when they got high but Waverly didn't feel impaired at all. She felt calmer and more free. Like she could do anything she was scared to do before. Maybe that was the impairing part.

 

Nicole's hoodie was warm, soft and Waverly was all too aware of the fact that she had it on. She felt safer in her clothes, for some reason unknown.

 

She leaned her head on Nicole's shoulder as she handed the joint back to her. It took a minute at first for Waverly to learn how to actually inhale. Turns out holding smoke in your mouth didn't do anything but give you a bad taste. Nicole laughed when she took her first actual hit and started coughing. She started to regret not bringing water.

 

Nicole smelled good. Even mixed with the weed.

 

"When did you start smoking?"

 

Nicole blew smoke out of her mouth and Waverly thought it was the hottest thing she'd ever seen.

 

"A year ago. Right after I got kicked from the team."

 

"Are you ever gonna tell me why?"

 

"Why I started smoking?" Nicole furrowed her eyebrows.

 

Waverly shook her head, accepting the offered joint. "No, why you don't play anymore." She pulled the smoke between her lips. It burned the back of her throat but still, calming.

 

"Nope." Nicole laughed, taking the joint from Waverly.

 

"I'm tired."

 

Nicole shook her shoulder as Waverly closed her eyes, causing the brunette to groan and lift her head up. She watched as Nicole took one last hit before putting the joint out on the metal beside her. It was far from finished but Waverly was too high already to think about smoking more.

 

Lightweight.

 

"You can't fall asleep in an abandoned building."

 

"A _haunted_ abandoned building." Waverly pointed out. "That's not finished." She pointed to the joint. Suddenly, she cares.

 

Nicole slipped it into the bag full of weed before tying it and shoving it in the small pocket on the front of her flannel. "You can have it later." She laughed. "Wynonna would kill me if you came home completely out of it."

 

"Like you care what Wynonna thinks."

 

Nicole shrugged. "She's my best friend, my only friend. I care somewhat; and I care about whether or not you're gonna be able to make it down the stairs in the dark."

 

The sun was still out, just barely. It was setting and the sky was an array of pinks, oranges and yellows.

 

"Pretty." Waverly muttered.

 

Nicole followed her line of sight. "Yeah." She sighed. "Come on." She grabbed Waverly's hand and helped her hop off the generator.

 

Nicole's hand was warm in hers and Waverly couldn't help but like the feeling. She looked at their hands as she ran her thumb over the back of Nicole's, stopped in her tracks near the door they walked through.

 

Nicole laughed. "We can stand here all day and you can look at my hand or we can go get food."

 

Waverly's eyes lit up, excitement buzzing through her immediately. "Food."

 

The walk through the building felt different this time. Waverly wasn't scared. Her eyes didn't do their usual dance into every room or hallway they passed. Instead, she kept her eyes locked on Nicole. Something about her was very interesting at the moment.

 

Maybe it's the weed.

 

Or maybe it's the fact that every time she heard Nicole laugh, her breath hitched. Every time Nicole tightened her hand around Waverly's, her knees felt like they would give out right then and there.

 

But maybe, just maybe, it's the weed.

 

Every time they reached the bottom of one staircase, Waverly would jump the few steps to the landing. Nicole would laugh.

 

Waverly couldn't help it. She'd never been high before and every time she jumped, she felt like she was flying. Plus, Nicole's laugh was an added bonus.

 

Nicole peaked around the corner of the front doors, making sure no one was around to see them walk out of the building. It was one thing to be in the parking lot. But being in the building meant they were technically trespassing and while Nicole would take that charge any day, she wouldn't let Waverly get in trouble for it.

 

The ride back into Purgatory felt longer than the ride to the hospital and way more eventful.

 

Waverly turned the radio up as loud as she could until it hurt her ears and belted out every word she knew. She rolled the window down this time, not bothering with the heat. She was already warm.

 

The wind blew through her hair and she felt like she was flying again.

 

They pulled up to a stop light and Nicole turned the radio down, earning a pout from the brunette.

 

"Where do you wanna eat?"

 

Waverly shrugged. "I'm vegan, so."

 

Nicole laughed. "I'm aware. That doesn't tell me what you want to eat, though."

 

"Milkshakes!" Waverly said excitedly.

 

"I thought milkshakes weren't vegan?"

 

"I've already broken the rules twice today. Why not make it a third?" Waverly smiled.

 

"Milkshakes it is."

 

Waverly cranked the radio back up as they drove through the green light. She was having way too much fun.

 

Skipping class wasn't a bad idea after all.

  
  


——

  
  


Nicole was starting to realize how different her days were becoming now that they consisted of hanging out with Waverly. Mainly, Fridays.

 

Instead of smoking with Wynonna, she found herself attending a basketball game. Something she hasn't done in so long. The games were different from an outside point of view. Usually, Nicole wasn't watching, she was playing.

 

Technically, she was hardly watching now. There was no way she couldn't sell right now. Everyone was getting ready for the after party, win or lose. Someone _always_ needed something.

 

Now that she had a car, business was looking up. She could do deliveries more easily. She didn't have to worry about whether or not she'd be able to use her mom's car based on some lie about going to the library or hanging out with friends. If her mom was smart, she could've caught Nicole numerous times.

 

She pocketed the money as she handed one of her regulars an eighth of weed.

 

"Hey, Haughtshit." Wynonna greeted. "I can't believe you blew me off for a basketball game."

 

Nicole smirked. "Money, Wynonna. I blew you off for money."

 

"How much?"

 

"I've made fifty so far. There's a party later also."

 

"Okay. Well, do you have enough to smoke now?"

 

Nicole nodded as she followed Wynonna through the doors of the gym and down the hallway to the exit. Smoking on school grounds was strictly prohibited. She stepped behind the fence next to the parking lot. Not school grounds.

 

"I can't roll anything. You'll have to smoke it the old fashioned way."

 

"Rolling is the old fashioned way." Wynonna laughed as she reached in her backpack and pulled out a small glass bowl.

 

Nicole handed her the weed and leaned against the fence as she watched Wynonna pack the grinded up plant into the bowl.

 

"Do you have a lighter?"

 

Nicole reached in her pocket and handed her a lighter. She shook her head when Wynonna offered her the bowl. She didn't feel like getting high right now. There was too much she needed to do tonight.

 

"So, what's going on with you and Waverly?"

 

Suddenly, getting high sounded like a good idea. She grabbed the bowl and lighter from Wynonna's hands and took a hit. It was _almost_ too big because she _almost_ coughed.

 

"Nothing." She choked out. "We're friends."

 

"I don't want to point any fingers but she came home with symptoms of being completely and utterly toasted the other night and I know she didn't go to her study hall."

 

Nicole shrugged. "Did you ask her?"

 

"I didn't exactly want to accuse my baby sister of getting high with my best friend."

 

"Cool." Was all Nicole could think to say.

 

"Cool?"

 

The doors to the building slammed opened, students flooding through and out into the parking lot. The loud yells and screams signalled that they had won.

 

Nicole spotted Waverly. She was wearing her uniform this time.

 

"I gotta go. Are you going to the party?"

 

Wynonna shrugged. "I don't know." She handed the lighter to Nicole.

 

"Keep it."

  
  


Waverly's smile when she saw Nicole was worth having to sit through a game. It met her eyes, crinkling at the edges.

 

"Why are you here?"

 

Nicole smirked. "Maybe I just wanted to see you in your uniform."

 

Waverly laughed. "I thought you hated it."

 

"I never said I _hated_ it." Nicole shook her head. "I just said I like your regular clothes."

 

"Right."

 

"Are you going to the party?"

 

"I wasn't going to but if you're going, I'll come."

 

Nicole felt her stomach flip at Waverly's words. The fact that she wanted to go just because Nicole was going was different; something Nicole wasn't used to. People didn't care about her. They didn't care if she was alone, they didn't care what her plans were. They definitely didn't care to join her for said plans.

 

"Well, then, I guess you're going to a party."

 

"Great. Do you have something else for me to wear, though? If not, can we stop by the homestead? I really don't wanna wear this to a party."

 

Nicole nodded. "We can stop by the homestead since the only thing I _would_ have for you to wear is a hoodie, which you never gave back to me."

 

Waverly smiled sheepishly as she followed Nicole to her car. "In my defense, it was warm and you didn't remind me."

 

Wynonna watched the interaction from a few feet away, smiling. "I knew it."

  
  


——

  
  


The party was already started by the time they showed up. The music was loud and it set Waverly on edge, anxiety building in the pit of her stomach. The first thing she did was grab a drink.

 

Nicole decided not to drink since she had to drive them home at the end of the night. Something Waverly noticed. Any other time, Nicole would drink. Whether she had to drive home or not. When she came to parties, she partied. Hard.

 

The redhead stayed close to Waverly, even while making deals. She'd somehow always found her way back to her. Waverly tried to get her dance, to no avail. She didn't care, though. Nicole was here, with Waverly. She wasn't ignoring her for her friends like Champ always did. Granted, Nicole didn't have very many friends. But she did _know_ people. A few players from the team would come up to her and talk for a few minutes, Nicole would never let go of Waverly's hand unless she did first. She never forced Waverly to stay with her but she never told her she had to go either.

 

Once Chrissy and Stephanie showed up, Waverly's fun only increased. The two girls _loved_ doing shots and it was Friday, they didn't have homework. They could get wasted and no one could say a thing.

 

As the shots hit the back of Waverly's throat, her mood slowly ascended. She was no longer nervous. She didn't feel like she was going to have a panic attack with every step. Everything in her body started calming down. It was different than being high and Waverly couldn't help but compare the two. She'd drank on multiple occasions but she'd never known any other feeling than sober, before. Then she smoked and she realized why people preferred it over drinking.

 

Her eyes scanned the crowd until they were met with Nicole's deep brown ones. She was talking to a kid Waverly didn't know as he rolled weed into a brown cigar leaf.

 

She excused herself from Chrissy and Steph's company and brushed through the loads of people standing around. Her head was cloudy, her eyesight was slightly blurry and she knew her words slurred together when she spoke but she didn't care.

 

"You okay?" Nicole asked quietly when Waverly approached her.

 

"Yes." She nodded. A mistake, as the dizziness returned to her body. She grabbed onto Nicole's arm gently with her left hand as her right slid down into Nicole's. The redheads grip immediately tightened. She leaned her head on Nicole's shoulder as she laughed at something the guy said that Waverly couldn't make out.

 

Her eyes closed, just like before. Immediately, they flew open when the room started spinning.

 

This definitely wasn't like being high.

 

"We're gonna go outside." Nicole turned towards her. "Do you want to come or will you be okay in here?"

 

Waverly shook her head. "No, I'll come."

 

The night air was refreshing. Waverly knew it was cold but the alcohol mixed with wearing Nicole's hoodie, she was anything but.

 

When they stopped by the homestead, Waverly put the hoodie on just to mess with Nicole. After mentioning the fact that she'd never given it back, she was debating on if she even wanted to. It still smelled like Nicole and it was comfortable, paired with leggings. Nicole rolled her eyes when Waverly walked out the door, mumbling something about it being her favorite hoodie.

 

Waverly leaned up against the railing of the back porch as she watched the redhead light the blunt.

 

"So, are you two dating?" The kid asked. He looked familiar but Waverly couldn't put her finger on it.

 

Nicole laughed. "No."

 

Waverly's stomach sank at the words. They weren't technically together in any capacity. They just hung out and sometimes held hands. Waverly wasn't even gay.

 

But she could be, right? It would make sense. Her bodies reactions to certain touches, words, sounds that Nicole made. It was the same reaction she'd get when an attractive male did anything Waverly thought was cute, but tens time more exaggerated. She didn't have an explanation for it other than, maybe she _is_ attracted to Nicole. Maybe the rumors and things people whispered in the hallway could be true.

 

Maybe she was gay. Or something along the lines of liking girls.

 

Or maybe the alcohol was just getting to her head and she was thinking too much into it.

 

Nicole passed the blunt to the kid. She watched him inhale the smoke. It wasn't as attractive as when Nicole did it.

 

Confusing.

 

"Perry!" Champ poked his head out of the back door, his eyes connected with Waverly's but he didn't say anything to her. He was still bitter about the break up but if he cared about anything beyond not being able to have sex with her, he didn't show it. "We're playing beer pong, I need you as my partner."

 

"Man, I just started smoking this." He held up the blunt as Nicole laughed.

 

"You can keep it." She said. "I have more."

 

"Thanks."

 

And then there were two.

 

Both Champ and Perry were long forgotten as Nicole looked into Waverly's eyes. Butterflies.

 

_Alcohol._ She thought.

 

"You feeling okay? You're being really quiet."

 

Waverly nodded, still quiet.

 

"Oookay." Nicole dragged the word out.

 

"Can we smoke?" Waverly asked for the second time in her life. "I don't wanna drink anymore." The slur in her words was still there but it wasn't as bad as before.

 

"I really don't think you should smoke and drink at the same time."

 

Waverly stood up straight and grabbed the bag our of Nicole's hand quickly. More than half of the joint from before was still in it, surprisingly.

 

Nicole tried to grab it back but Waverly turned quickly. She fumbled with the knot in the bag before she finally got it undone. Nicole reached around her body and attempted to get it again.

 

"Waverly." She warned.

 

The brunette shoved the bag in her pocket after taking out the joint and closing it in the palm of her hand. She smiled sweetly at Nicole. The distance between them was almost non-existent and it set Waverly's body on fire.

 

"Give it." Nicole held out her hand like she was trying to take candy from a child. Waverly shook her head.

 

"No way. You said I could have it later and it's later."

 

Nicole sighed when Waverly stuck out her bottom lip in a childlike manner.

 

"At least give me the weed back."

 

"You can have the weed back after we smoke." She prompted.

 

She needed to forget. There was too much on her mind and alcohol wasn't doing it for her. Bad coping mechanisms were Nicole and Wynonna's thing but Waverly was already an Earp that spent her time around Nicole, why not feed into the rest of the stereotype?

 

Nicole groaned. "Fine but if you get caught with it on you, I'm not taking the fall for it."

 

Waverly smiled brightly as she handed Nicole the joint to light. It took a few minutes with the wind blowing but it finally lit and soon enough, Waverly was once again smoking with Nicole Haught.

 

There was almost a hundred people inside the house that wouldn't believe their eyes if they saw Waverly smoking but she didn't care. What was another rumor on top of all the ones already floating around? She'd shown up to a party with Nicole, tonight. That'll get people talking by itself.

 

She was tired of caring about what people thought of her.

 

So, what? She smoked. She drank. She hung out with drug dealers and broke into abandoned places. She liked girls.

 

It's nothing new. Purgatory was small, but it wasn't that small. People talked. Waverly could name about a dozen people doing worse than she was.

 

Besides, she was keeping up with her classes all while helping Nicole with hers. That's got to make her a better person.

 

"Are you gonna hit this?" Nicole waved the joint in front of her face, cutting through her thoughts with the smoke.

 

Waverly grabbed it and placed it between her lips. It felt different now. Alcohol was still coursing through her system and she was positive this was, on some level, considered dangerous. But she couldn't blame anyone but herself. She's the one that took the weed.

 

Nicole hopped onto the railing next to Waverly. The porch was higher up, second floor. It could be considered a balcony to some people but it came off of the main floor.

 

Waverly's eyes followed Nicole's legs and up to her own eyes.

 

"You're not getting up here." Nicole shook her head before Waverly even had the chance to try.

 

"Why not?"

 

"You've been drinking. You're gonna fall and break your neck."

 

"Not if you don't let me." She smiled, handing the joint back to Nicole.

 

"No-"

 

Nicole didn't have time to protest before Waverly was climbing up onto the railing. Routinely, Nicole's hand went to Waverly's arm to hold her in place.

 

"You're trying to get yourself killed."

 

Waverly shrugged. "Would that really be so bad?"

 

It was depressing and in any other circumstance, she'd keep a thought like that to herself. But right now, everything in her was carefree.

 

"You're drunk." Nicole spoke softly. Like if she was any louder, Waverly would break.

 

Waverly smiled. "Hardly." She took the joint from Nicole's hand and took a few hits, bigger than she normally would. She coughed slightly but not as bad as the first time she smoked.

 

It was hitting her now and she was starting to regret thinking it was a good idea to sit on the railing of a two story high porch.

 

"How'd you know you're gay?" Waverly asked.

 

Nicole chuckled. "I think it's pretty obvious."

 

Waverly's eyes trailed over Nicole's body. _Definitely obvious._

 

"Okay." She looked back into Nicole's eyes. "But do you have to dress like that to be gay?"

 

Nicole laughed again. "Your appearance has nothing to do with your sexuality."

 

"So, if I still wore the clothes I wear. I could still be gay?"

 

"Yes?" Nicole quirked an eyebrow.

 

"How did you _know_ , though?"

 

"I had a crush on a girl in middle school." Nicole shrugged. Waverly was surprised she was even telling her this. "I mean, I didn't know it was a crush at the time. I kinda just thought everyone felt that way about girls. Then I started talking to people and I figured out, not everyone feels that way. It was just me. I had to Google a whole bunch of shit before I figured it out completely, but that's basically what did it for me."

 

Waverly took another hit of the joint, clouding her mind as she processed the information.

 

"Can I tell you something and can you promise not to tell anyone?"

 

Nicole nodded. "Sure."

 

"I don't think I'm straight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just remember, 99% of my stories are slowburns


	4. most people would've taken spanish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's like, one vegetarian option at red lobster and i was very disappointed.

Nicole had never felt more stress than when Lucado posted the dates for the end of the semester testing.

 

Waverly had been tutoring Nicole almost everyday this week but whenever she was around, everything went in one ear and out the other. Nicole couldn't focus.

 

Especially after Waverly's cute little confession the other night.

 

It wasn't about Nicole and she knew that. She tried hard not to make it about herself. But as far as she knew, Waverly wasn't having these thoughts until she started hanging out with Nicole.

 

Things were different now. Nicole liked it better when she knew she didn't haven't a chance. She couldn't even flirt like she used to, which was barely, without feeling like she was taking it too far. Like Waverly would feel different about it.

 

It wasn't about her and Nicole had to keep reminding herself of that.

  
  


The test was long and agonizing. They held it within the first period and it lasted nearly the whole day. The second Nicole could, she'd be leaving the building.

 

She knew the answers to almost every question, it was just the way they were worded that bothered Nicole. Like they were trying to confuse her. Like they wanted her to fail.

 

After a long four hours, the test was over and Nicole was sighing in relief. The bell rang shortly after and she practically booked it out the door.

 

The drive to the homestead was short and fast. Her brain was tired. She literally couldn't think. This is why she skipped school. It had never been this hard before. But before, she wasn't missing classes. She was going, so she was learning everything she needed to know. Now that she was hardly ever there, everything was so foreign to her. She almost forgot how to do basic math. _Almost._

  
  
  


Nicole was trying hard to stop smoking her own product. It was bad for business and a waste of money. She was smoking the shit she could be selling.

 

But she was at Wynonna's and she'd just finished testing and she was _stressed_ _._ She needed to smoke, or drink, or drown herself in a pool of water; anything would suffice at this point.

 

"You're gonna have to take them, you know. You'll fail if you don't." Nicole informed her. She handed Wynonna the glass bowl full of weed.

 

Wynonna shrugged. "School is lame anyway. What am I _actually_ gonna get with a highschool diploma?"

 

"A college degree." Nicole laughed.

 

"Since when did you become so invested in school?"

 

"Since I was told I'd fail if I didn't."

 

"Last I knew, you didn't care."

 

Nicole sighed. "Yeah. Well, Waverly has been helping me and it's not _that_ bad. At least people aren't still whispering in the hallway about me."

 

Wynonna nodded. "Speaking of Waverly. I think she's hiding something from me."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Nicole knew what she meant. Waverly was hiding a lot of things from her these days.

 

"She's acting weird. It's like she's keeping some big secret and she can't tell me what it is." Wynonna explained. "Has she said anything to you?"

 

Nicole shook her head. Maybe a little too quickly. "No, nothing."

 

"Weird."

  
  


Later that night, Nicole was waiting for Waverly. She leaned against the front door, her head dropping back as she did so. She was tired and she wanted to go to sleep but Waverly was adamant on going to see a movie and Nicole couldn't say no.

 

She stood up straight when she heard the brunette coming down the steps. Her jaw nearly fell to the floor when she saw Waverly's hair.

 

It was short, just barely past her shoulders. Way different than her long hair. She looked _good_ and Nicole felt it in every inch of her body. She was wearing Nicole's hoodie, again. The redhead felt different, though. It wasn't just Waverly wearing Nicole's hoodie. It was _baby gay_ Waverly, wearing Nicole's hoodie, after cutting her hair in a way that screamed gay.

 

"You cut your hair." Nicole croaked out.

 

Waverly nodded, smiling big. "I did. Does it look bad? I needed a change."

 

Nicole shook her head. "No. It looks great. I like it." She resisted the urge to reach out and run her fingers through the short locks. Instead, she shoved her hands deep into her sweatpants pockets, clenching her hands into fists until she felt her nails break the skin. "You definitely look gay, now."

 

Waverly chuckled. "Great. Maybe no one will question it when I come out."

 

"Right." Nicole followed her through the front door and down the few steps off the porch.

 

They both got into Nicole's car. It took a minute for Nicole to find her keys but eventually, she got them into the ignition. Even with her mind clouded with _so_ many inappropriate thoughts, she still interlaced her fingers with Waverly's as she drove down the dirt road.

  
  


——

  
  


The movie went by faster than Nicole would've liked. It was some superhero movie that Waverly was into. It wasn't a bad film but Nicole had never really been into superheroes. She'd sit through hours of it if it meant being next to Waverly, though.

 

They held hands the entire time and Waverly leaned her head on Nicole's shoulder for a while. At one point, Nicole was sure she'd fallen asleep until her grip on Nicole's hand tightened slightly.

 

It could've been a date.

 

If she was anyone else, it would've been a date.

 

Nicole couldn't date Waverly, though. She was her best friends sister. At one point, she was her enemy. Someone who didn't even think twice about who Nicole was and why she is the way she is. She didn't care about Nicole until it was convenient to her.

 

Waverly suggested that Nicole could stay the night. It would be pointless to drive all the way back to her house just to come back to the homestead in the morning. Reluctantly, Nicole accepted the offer.

 

She tried sleeping on the couch but Waverly wouldn't let her, insisting that she sleeps in the brunettes bed. _It's more comfortable. I'm not letting you sleep on the couch._

 

But of course, Nicole wouldn't let Waverly sleep on the couch either.

 

"Do you need something to wear?"

 

Nicole looked down at her hoodie and sweatpants and shook her head. "No, not now. I might need something for tomorrow, though."

 

"Okay. Do you wanna shower?"

 

Nicole laughed. "No, Waverly. I think I can survive without showering for one night."

 

"There's an extra tooth brush in the cabinet."

 

Nicole grabbed Waverly's arm lightly and stopped her from talking. "You're worrying too much about something you don't need to worry about. What's going on?"

 

Waverly shrugged. "We've just- I don't know, we've never stayed in the same bed before and I know it shouldn't be weird or anything cause that's what friends do but, I don't know."

 

Nicole smiled, amused. "Waverly, I think we can sleep in the same bed together without it being a big deal."

 

"Yeah but, you know, it's different now. I mean- you know what, never mind. It doesn't matter."

 

Nicole rolled her eyes playfully. "Sure. Hey, it'll be fine." She reassured her. "And if you start getting too uncomfortable, I can always go back to the living room."

 

Waverly chuckled. "Not a chance."

 

They got ready for bed quickly, taking turns occupying Waverly's small bathroom before crawling into bed. When Waverly turned off the light, Nicole suddenly understood why she was so nervous earlier.

 

Everything became so clear. Waverly Earp was laying next to her, in the same bed. They were going to sleep next to each other.

 

Nicole rolled onto her side and scooted closer to the edge of the bed, putting some distance between the two of them. Waverly turned her head, glancing at her before returning her focus to the ceiling.

 

"This is weird."

 

"It's only weird cause you're making it weird." Nicole tried.

 

Waverly sighed. "Okay."

 

"Okay." Nicole whispered.

 

And within two seconds, Waverly was repositioning herself until she was wrapped up in Nicole's arms. She tucked her head under Nicole's chin and wrapped her arms around the girls middle.

 

Nicole hesitated for a second before tightening her arms around the smaller girl.

 

This was new to her, physical affection. Usually, Nicole hated it. She couldn't stand people touching her, let alone being in her personal space. But Waverly's hand was always soft in hers, her hair smelled like lavender and her body fit perfectly against Nicole's. She couldn't hate this.

 

"Is this okay?" Waverly whispered. Nicole knew she could hear her heart beating loudly against her chest.

 

"Yeah."

  
  


——

  
  


When the test scores came back a week later, Nicole's heart sank to her stomach. She passed every class except one; Latin.

 

Of course, she'd fail Latin. She sucked at even comprehending the language, let alone writing it on paper. There was no surprise in her voice when she told Waverly.

 

The shorter girl jumped at the chance to help her. Nicole knew it wasn't out of pity but she couldn't help but feel like Waverly wouldn't even be in her life if she wasn't such a failure.

 

If she didn't get kicked off the team, if she didn't start cutting classes, if she didn't start selling drugs and hanging out with Wynonna. Waverly wouldn't even _know_ her. Maybe her name. Maybe the fact that she plays basketball. But she wouldn't know her like she does now.

 

They wouldn't hangout after school, they wouldn't hold hands in anything but a platonic way. Hell, they probably wouldn't even give a second glance if they passed each other in the hall.

 

Nicole only knew who Waverly was because she was Wynonna's sister. She felt a bit guilty about it but it subsided just as fast as it had arrived.

 

Latin was hard and it was even harder now that she had to listen to the foreign words come out of Waverly's perfect mouth.

 

She thought focusing was hard before. There was no comparison to how she felt in this moment.

 

Every time Waverly spoke, Nicole felt like she was going to pass out. Latin was a dead language but with every word that floated through the air, mixed with Waverly's voice, everything in Nicole's body was alive.

 

_Everything._

 

Nicole threw her head back onto the couch as she stretched across it. Her eyes closed, willingly this time. She shouldn't be tired, she'd slept like a baby the past few days.

 

Waverly lifted Nicole's legs before plopping them back down in her lap after sitting at the other end of the couch.

 

"So, you have an extra class." Waverly pointed out. "You'll just have to work harder. Actually show up this time."

 

Nicole groaned. "I should've just passed the stupid fuckin-"

 

"Language."

 

"Test." Nicole sighed. "I'm so dumb."

 

"You're not dumb, Nicole. You're just uninspired. Latin isn't for everyone. You could always just drop the class."

 

Nicole laughed. "Yeah, right."

 

"I'm serious. You don't _need_ a foreign language to graduate. You have enough credits to cover for dropping it."

 

"I can't drop it." She mumbled. "My parents would kill me."

 

Waverly sighed. "Your life _sucks._ "

 

"Way to make me feel better."

 

"Sorry." Waverly whispered.

 

Her fingers unconsciously drew shapes in Nicole's legs and it was driving the redhead insane. There'd been too much contact between the two in the past month. Nicole didn't even know how she was still standing.

 

The door to the homestead flung open and Chrissy flew into the house. "Wave- Oh." She sported a confused look. "Am I interrupting something?"

 

"We were studying." Waverly said simply.

 

"Seems awfully comfortable for a studying session."

 

Nicole snorted. "Latin is stupid."

 

"I see."

 

——

 

Any other day, Waverly wouldn't be mad that someone, Chrissy, came storming into her house.

 

She'd planned on spending the rest of the day with Nicole, studying or not. Until Chrissy came running into the house like it was her own.

 

Nicole's words hardly explained anything but Chrissy didn't bother asking further. It didn't seem like she cared, honestly.

 

Waverly's hands dropped into her lap as Nicole got up from the couch. She watched as the redheads eyes raked over Chrissy's body.

 

"Cute uniform." She smirked.

 

The blonde flushed crimson. "Thanks."

 

The uniform was anything but cute. It was a plain, black McDonald's uniform paired with a hat; Chrissy's bright idea to get a job there last summer to give her extra money turned into an idea she soon started to regret.

 

She'd never worked for anything a day in her life. Her father gave her everything she asked for. Waverly had to sit through hours and hours of complaints from the blonde. When Chrissy had to _actually_ start working, she made it sound like hell.

 

The jealousy that formed in the pit of Waverly's stomach as she watched Nicole shamelessly flirt with the other girl was unwaivering.

 

She had no reason to be jealous. Nicole wasn't her girlfriend. They're were _just_ friends. Sure, Waverly had a small crush, but Nicole didn't know about it.

 

Waverly couldn't exactly tell her until she started coming out to people. What would be the point of secretly dating? She'd be on edge twenty four hours a day. The thought of people finding out she even likes girls scared her.

 

The other night hasn't even been talked about. After they fell asleep, Waverly woke, still in Nicole's arms, got up and made breakfast. They didn't mention any of it after that. They didn't need to, right? It was just cuddling and friends did that sometimes.

 

Nicole's words flashed through her mind. _"I thought every girl felt like that towards other girls.."_

 

Because every girl _definitely_ had a crush on their friends. Every girl _definitely_ cuddled with their friends while falling asleep to the sound of their heartbeat.

 

Definitely.

  
  


——

  
  


Waverly didn't mean to ignore Nicole. She wasn't trying to, it wasn't intentional. It just happened.

 

Whenever something was wrong, Waverly shut herself off. She got quiet and distant and she couldn't help it. She didn't know how to fix it, how to stop doing it. It's something she's done since she was a child.

 

Anytime something was wrong, she'd run to her room and lock her door. She wouldn't come out until she got hungry and Waverly was really good at suppressing her hunger, along with her feelings.

 

When she crawled into Nicole's car, she intended to talk. To continue their witty banter and joke freely like they always had. She couldn't bring herself to say anything though.

 

Nicole must've noticed because after five minutes of driving, she was asking Waverly what was wrong. "You didn't say hi to me. Hell, you didn't even smile when you walked out of the door. That's _weird,_ Waverly."

 

Waverly shrugged. "It's just one of those days. I don't know."

 

Nicole didn't push, she never did. Even if she knew it was a brush off. She'd never force Waverly into saying anything she didn't want to talk about, something Waverly has grown to appreciate.

 

Throughout the day, Waverly's mood increased slightly. Things started to look up. The schedule for next semester's classes had been passed out. She hardly had any considering she'd taken all she needed to take. Most of her days would consist of study hall, something she probably wouldn't attend. Study hall was pointless. Attendence was never marked and most of the students spent that time roaming the halls with their friends for no apparent reason.

 

She sighed as she closed her locker. _One more class._

 

Chrissy beamed next to her. "Hi."

 

Waverly furrowed her brows. "Hi?"

 

"I have a favor to ask."

 

"Okay..?"

 

"I know it's kinda weird but do you happen to have Nicole's number? I tried finding her on Facebook but turns out she doesn't have one. Girlie is seriously off the grid."

 

Waverly's stomach sank, again.

 

"I thought you hated her?"

 

Chrissy shrugged. "I never said I hated her. I just said she was dangerous."

 

"Exactly."

 

"Danger is good sometimes, Waves."

 

"Right." Waverly nodded. "Why do you want her number?"

 

"I think she's cute."

 

Waverly snorted. Out of all the people Chrissy was attracted to, Nicole didn't seem like her type.

 

"I'll talk to her."

 

Something inside Waverly wanted to tell Chrissy she couldn't have Nicole's number. That she wouldn't talk to Nicole, that she wouldn't ask if she could give the blonde her number. But it wasn't her place. Nicole wasn't her property to keep to herself.

 

——

  
  


Nicole would rather be anywhere but studying. She could be doing something way more productive than trying to learn a language she'd never need to know in the future.

 

Most people would've taken Spanish.

 

The studying session was weird. Waverly was quiet and treated it like it was a business transaction. Like they weren't friends and haven't been hanging out for over a month now. Like all she was to Nicole was _just_ her tutor.

 

Nicole would've asked what was wrong but Waverly didn't seem like she was in the mood to talk, actually talk.

 

Until she did.

 

"Chrissy likes you." Waverly blurted out. Nicole raised her eyebrows. "Well, I don't know if she _likes_ you. She wants your number. I would've given it to her but you never said I could and I wanted to get your consent before I just handed out your phone number."

 

"Is this why you're so quiet?"

 

Waverly shook her head. "No. If I give you her number, will you text her?"

 

Nicole shrugged. "I guess but I'm not really looking for a re-"

 

"Great!"

 

Waverly grabbed Nicole's phone, typing in the passcode before putting the blondes contact information into it.

 

If Nicole was being honest, she didn't want her number. She probably wouldn't even text Chrissy.

 

Her mind wasn't set on anyone but Waverly.


	5. more like lesbians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i proofread and posted this while at church. happy easter or whatever.

It had been a week since Nicole actually hung out with Waverly. She was starting to miss the girl. Which led her to regretting even becoming friends with her.

 

Nicole didn't _miss_ people. Feelings were gross.

 

Waverly informed her that she got her Jeep fixed so she didn't need Nicole driving her to and from school everyday. The thought of it made Nicole not want to go to school at all. The only reason she was even showing up is because she needed to in order for Waverly to.

 

It became a routine that she fell back into. Skipping class. It wasn't as bad as before. She still attended school everyday. She'd stay long enough to not get in trouble and then dart through the back doors.

 

That was until Chrissy caught her walking through the hall way between the band and choir rooms.

 

Nicole _had_ texted the blonde, a bit reluctantly on her part. She let her know, first thing, that she wasn't looking to be anything more than friends with anyone.

 

But Waverly.

 

No one needed to know that, though.

 

Chrissy didn't seem to care. She still flirted with Nicole and it made her realize how annoying it was. She almost felt bad for doing it to Waverly for so long.

 

The blonde was interesting, though. She didn't bore Nicole like everyone usually did. She could keep a steady conversation and she seemed interested in Nicole's life outside of what happened before she was who she is now.

 

Everyone always asked. The reason why she got kicked off the basketball team was unknown to everyone but a select few and she'd keep it that way as long as she could.

 

It wasn't her fault. No matter how many times people said it was.

 

She parked her car outside of Chrissy's house and pulled out her phone, sending a quick text to let the blonde know she was there.

 

Soon enough, she was jumping down the stairs and into the Corvette.

 

Nicole couldn't help but think, this would usually be something she'd do with Waverly.

 

She'd never driven anyone around other than the brunette. It was weird having someone else in the passenger seat.

 

Chrissy didn't hold her hand. She didnt make jokes or turn the radio up too loud as they drove through town. She didn't tease Nicole about her tattoo and she wasn't wearing the redheads hoodie.

 

_It's only been a week, Nicole_ _. Get it together, Jesus Christ._

 

They arrived at the library shortly after. Chrissy mentioned something about wanting to stop by and get a book and Nicole didnt think anything of it when she drove past the red Jeep parked in the lot.

 

It didn't even click in her mind that Waverly might be here.

 

Until she was running into her head first in the middle of an aisle.

 

"Oh, you're here." Was all Waverly said.

 

Chrissy smiled brightly beside her. "I need a book for AP Lit."

 

Waverly smiled tight lipped. "Right. Good luck finding it. There's hardly anything on the shelves right now."

 

Nicole gave her a confused look as she quickly brushed past her. "I'll be back." She turned to Chrissy. When the blonde smiled and nodded, signalling for her to go, Nicole took off after the youngest Earp.

 

"Waverly, wait."

 

Waverly stopped before turning around, an unamused look spread across her face. Bored.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Are you okay? Like _actually_ okay? We haven't spoken in a week and you're acting kind of strange."

 

"I'm fine." Waverly smiled. "I'm just busy with school and cheerleading."

 

Nicole quirked an eyebrow. They had a few of the same classes and the ones Nicole did show up to hardly ever had any homework. Chrissy was on the cheerleading team and as far as she knew, they weren't doing anything spectacularly time consuming. She was lying and Nicole didnt know why it bothered her so much.

 

"Right." She nodded slowly. "Okay. Then, I guess I'll see you around. I don't know."

 

"Later." Waverly was gone before Nicole had time to process it.

  
  


——

  
  


Nicole cut the engine as she pulled into the homestead driveway.

 

_In and out,_ she thought.

 

Wynonna had texted her about an hour ago asking if she had anything she could sell. Of course, Nicole did. When did she ever show up empty handed?

 

It was unusual for Wynonna to buy from Nicole. Most of the time, the redhead just gave her whatever she had left over. But she was tight on cash right now and gas was expensive — something she'd need if she planned on driving Chrissy around town every other day.

 

Everything about her life was weird now.

 

Wynonna was buying from her, Waverly wasn't speaking to her, she in an unconfirmed relationship with Waverly's best friend.

 

It wasn't technically a relationship. They barely even held hands. But Nicole spent all of her freetime with the blonde and Chrissy bragged and boasted about Nicole to almost every one of her friends.

 

Champ was glad to hear Nicole wasn't hanging out with Waverly anymore and instead, occupying someone else's time. The rumors around the school had subsided. No one bothered to talk about Chrissy. She had too many ties around town.

 

Nicole rolled her eyes, clearing her thoughts as she got out of her car. Wynonna was in the doorway, already waiting.

 

The cash in her hands was old and worn out but Nicole accepted it anyway.

 

"You've been busy." Wynonna pointed out. "Heard you got a girlfriend."

 

Nicole laughed. "Yeah, no. She's not my girlfriend. Not technically."

 

"Well, I miss seeing your face. In a totally non-soft way, though."

 

"You just miss getting free weed."

 

Wynonna smirked. "That, too. Do you wanna stay and smoke?"

 

Nicole shook her head. "I can't. I have plans."

 

The porch light above them turned on as Waverly appeared behind Wynonna. She was wearing pajamas and sleep was evident in her eyes. She must've just woken up.

 

Nicole couldn't help but stare. It took her back. She felt like she hadn't seen Waverly in ages, though it had barely been over a week.

 

"Can I talk to you?" Waverly stared at Nicole with so much anger, she could feel the argument approaching.

 

"You already are." Nicole joked, smirking.

 

Waverly rolled her eyes as she brushed past Wynonna, pulling Nicole into the yard near her car. Wynonna shrugged her shoulders as Nicole shot her a questioning look.

 

"You're still selling?"

 

Nicole looked around, obviously. "Uh, yeah?"

 

"To Wynonna." It was a statement, one that Nicole couldn't quite understand at the moment.

 

Waverly crossed her arms as the wind blew.

 

"You're mad?"

 

"You're selling drugs to my sister. Yeah. I'm mad, Nicole."

 

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows. "I've been giving Wynonna weed for so long, why is it a problem now?"

 

Waverly scoffed. "I thought you were doing better for yourself."

 

"You can't be mad at me when you smoke it, too." Nicole pointed out, ignoring Waverly's words. "It would make you a hypocrite."

 

"I only smoke it with you." She rolled her eyes.

 

Nicole's mind flashed back to the times she _had_ smoked with Waverly. It had only been twice but it was more than enough for her to remember.

 

"What is your problem, Waverly? One day, we're fine. Then, the next, you're ignoring me and giving me the cold shoulder without an explanation why. I don't understand you anymore."

 

To be frank, Nicole never understood Waverly. Why she did the things she did was a mystery. The girl had been through so much in her lifetime. Through all of it, she was still Waverly. She never pointed fingers or put blame where it deserved to be placed. She put on a bright smile and continued to laugh.

 

It was inspiring, honestly. The way she fell in love with the world around her. The way she found the good in everything despite the bad being right there.

 

"I feel like I'm losing you." Waverly whispered. Her voice cracked slightly and Nicole could feel her heart breaking under her words.

 

She furrowed her eyebrows. "You're not. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

 

"But you are."

 

God, it was freezing.

 

"You're never around anymore, you're always with Chrissy. You don't need Wynonna, let alone, me."

 

Nicole sighed, taking Waverly's hand in her own. "Just because I suddenly have friends again, doesn't mean you're going to lose me."

 

Waverly dropped her hand just as fast as Nicole had taken it.

 

"I think Chrissy is more than a friend, Nicole."

 

She doesn't know what it is, but for whatever reason, the words hurt.

  
  


——

  
  


Waverly thought she'd get over it. One day, all of this jealousy and anger that she was feeling towards Nicole and Chrissy wouldn't matter.

 

She thought she _was_ getting over it.

 

Her and Nicole started hanging out again. It wasn't as frequent as it used to be, it wasn't everyday. Nicole would hangout with Chrissy most days and Waverly would let her. She couldn't stop her. It was her choice and her right to hangout with, talk to, _date_ whoever she wanted. Even if Waverly didn't like the idea of her crush dating her best friend.

 

Even if her crush and her best friend weren't _technically_ dating.

 

She had no option but to get over it.

 

So, when Chrissy came into her room saying things about Nicole that Waverly wished was coming from _her_ mouth, she pushed all of her feelings down and listened to her _best friend._ For once, Chrissy sounded happy. Who would she be if she took that away from her?

 

"She's _so_ sweet and every time she smiles I get these weird butterflies and _have you seen her a_ _bs?_ "

 

And no, Waverly hasn't seen her abs and she'd rather be doing anything but having this conversation.

 

"I want to date her." Chrissy beamed. Waverly did everything in her power to hold back the vomit rising in her throat. "I just don't know if she wants to date me."

 

Chrissy identified as bisexual for as long as Waverly could remember and never once has she said something like _that._ If someone didn't like her — Which was unusual. What was there _not_ to like about the blonde? — She'd move onto the next person. She never stuck around where she wasn't wanted. Waverly almost felt bad for hoping Nicole didn't like her. _Almost._

 

Waverly shrugged. "You guys are practically dating already."

 

"Yeah but not really." Chrissy frowned. "We barely hold hands and every time we're together, it seems like her mind is elsewhere."

 

"Maybe, you should just talk to her. Communication goes both ways."

 

Chrissy smiled. "Yeah, I guess." She shrugged. "Anyway, tell me about your love life. Got any crushes?"

  
  


——

  
  


Waverly hands were shaking and sweaty as she wiped them on her pants. Her nerves were set on edge and at any inkling of noise, she jumped.

 

She was nervous. A ball of anxiety that couldn't be deflated.

 

Wynonna sat next to her, staring expectantly at her younger sister.

 

When Waverly said she wanted to talk to her, she thought it was a good idea. She had been so confident. But with each minute that had passed, her confidence faded.

 

_This would be so much better if you were high._ She told herself.

 

Waverly couldn't smoke, though. She wouldn't without Nicole. She'd never let it become a habit, either. Using drugs and alcohol to mask your feelings was something she'd never understood. Before now, that is.

 

She tapped her foot against the floorboards as she played with the ring wrapped around her middle finger.

 

"You don't have to talk, you know?" Wynonna reassured her. "It was your idea, it's your right to not go through with whatever it is you need to say."

 

Waverly nodded. "I know."

 

She had to get it out though.

 

"Did you know Nicole and Chrissy are a thing?"

 

Wynonna nodded. "Yeah. I heard. That's what you wanted to tell me?"

 

Waverly sighed and shook her head. "No."

 

She stopped tapping her foot. Brushing her hair out of her face, she turned to Wynonna.

 

"Do you remember when we were younger, Gus took us to Toronto for the weekend? We were visiting Curtis' family or something."

 

"Yes?" Wynonna furrowed her eyebrows.

 

"We went to the grocery store one day. We were walking and there was that rainbow crosswalk, I said something about leprechauns being on the other side."

 

Wynonna nodded. "It's vague but I remember."

 

"You made a joke-"

 

" _More like lesbians._ " Wynonna repeated her words from back then, laughing. "Still a good joke."

 

"Yeah. I didn't understand it back then. I must've asked you a billion questions about what being gay was and what it meant."

 

"Why do I have a feeling I know where this is going?"

 

Waverly sighed, ignoring her. "I didn't understand how someone could like the same gender. It was confusing for me. I'd been so used to seeing a man with a woman, it was such a foreign concept." She paused before whispering, "I kind of understand now."

 

Wynonna quirked an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

 

"Meaning, I like a girl."

 

"Nicole." Wynonna nodded. "Yeah, I knew that."

 

Waverly's eyes widened. "How?"

 

Wynonna shrugged. "You're different around her than you are around any of your other friends. You definitely spend more time with her than anyone else. I think she sees you more than I do-"

 

"Okay." Waverly cut her off. "I get it." She ran her fingers through her hair once again. "She likes Chrissy, though. At least, I think she does. I don't know. I don't even know why I like her. She's aggravating and she never listens, she sells drugs and gets in trouble and has a freaking _tattoo._ " Waverly rambled on.

 

"Maybe you just like her because she's the only lesbian you know."

 

Waverly rolled her eyes. "I know more than one lesbian. Besides, there's like ten girls on the cheerleading and basketball team that are gay or _something._ I've never had any feelings towards them."

 

"Have you told her?"

 

Waverly shook her head. She didn't have the balls to tell Nicole, honestly. What if she didn't like her back? What if she never even thought of Waverly in that way? It would ruin everything, anything, that they had together. Every moment spent together would be nothing more than just a memory. Waverly couldn't ruin that.

 

There was too much at stake for Waverly to just go and confess her feelings.


	6. drunk actions based on sober thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellloooo,
> 
> if you follow my twitter then you probably know how much I've been working and how busy I've actually been. I took a weekend and went to my friend's house since i haven't been there in a while, or else, I would've uploaded this sooner. it took a minute to proof read and i really don't think i got all the way through sjdjf.
> 
> all mistakes are mine.

The minute hand on the clock seemed to be ticking slower than Nicole remembered.

 

They had a half day today. It was the last day of school before spring break and everyone wanted to go home. It was more surprising that anyone showed up, frankly.

 

It was more surprising that she even showed up.

 

Nicole scribbled sloppy lines across her blank sheet of paper. The teacher was still talking, even with barely five minutes left of class. She wasn't listening. Nobody was.

 

Stephanie Jones had announced that she'd be throwing a party later to kick off spring break and _everyone_ was going. Which meant, Nicole was selling.

 

It was a bad habit that she couldn't get out of; thinking of ways to make more money. She didn't _need_ to. She could get a job now, maybe. Despite the fact that everyone basically hated her, she was doing good. At least she was actually attending school now.

 

Though, the thought that she should've skipped today crossed her mind as Ms. Clootie rambled on about the importance of Latin and the bonuses of learning the language.

 

Nicole still wasn't _technically_ passing. Her study sessions with Waverly had minimized. They'd barely hung out within the past few weeks, despite being back on good terms. They'd talk briefly while passing in the hallway or when Nicole decided she'd smoke with Wynonna but other than that, things had went back to the way they were before.

 

Before Nicole was failing all of her classes. Before Nicole was another nobody. Before Waverly decided she'd tutor Nicole.

 

It didn't matter, though. She was used to people leaving. Although, Waverly hadn't technically left; it still felt like it. She was still right there. If Nicole wanted to, she could have that same friendship again. But it was different now. Something felt _off._ Something she couldn't put her finger on.

 

By the time the bell rang, everyone was out of their seats and ready to go. Not a second passed before students were flooded into the narrow hallways.

 

Nicole hated crowds, she hated people and she hated school hallways. There was always _too_ much noise fluttering from people's mouths.

 

She threw her things into her locker and grabbed her jacket. It wasn't cold outside anymore but she brought it anyway. Another habit she couldn't break.

 

"Hey, hey." Chrissy smiled, leaning up against the locker next to Nicole.

 

The redhead smiled as she closed the metal door. "Hey. How was class?"

 

"Boring and totally pointless. Are you going to the party tonight?"

 

Nicole nodded as Chrissy interlocked their hands, following her down the hallway. Her hand was soft and if Nicole closed her eyes long enough, she could almost pretend it belonged to a certain brunette.

 

"Yeah. I promised Waverly I'd be her and Wynonna's designated driver."

 

It wasn't meant to be a promise. Waverly had mentioned the party one night while Nicole was at the homestead and Wynonna came up with the bright idea that Nicole should come, whispering something about making bank off of a couple drunk teenagers, Nicole was sold immediately. The bright, beaming smile that was planted across Waverly's face was worth it in the end.

 

Nicole didn't understand why Wynonna was coming or how she even got invited, but she didn't question it. The girl hadn't even bothered to show up for school within the past month. Anything for a party, though.

 

"Great." Chrissy smiled. "So, I'll see you there?"

 

"You will." Nicole smiled back.

  
  


Wynonna passed Nicole a blunt from the backseat as Waverly cracked the window.

 

So much for _designated_ driver.

 

"I still don't see why you get to sit in the front." Wynonna complained for what felt like the millionth time since Nicole picked them up.

 

"Because she likes me more than you." Waverly rolled her eyes. "Besides, you have more room back there. Stop complaining."

 

"Yeah. I bet she does." Wynonna mumbled.

 

Nicole rolled her eyes. "Will you two quit?"

 

"She started it." Waverly shrugged.

 

"I don't have _any_ room back here with all of Nicole's shit laying everywhere." Wynonna threw a bag of chips into the front seat.

 

Nicole laughed as she tossed the chips back towards Wynonna. "My car, my mess, my rules. Shut up."

 

Waverly turned in her seat, facing her sister. Her eyes darted around the car. "Is there a hoodie back there? I'm kinda cold."

 

Wynonna looked around before handing her a black hoodie.

 

Nicole shook her head, grabbing the hoodie from Waverly's grasp. Her eyes never strayed from the road.

 

"No way. You already have one of my hoodies and this one is my favorite."

 

"I thought the one I had is your favorite?" Waverly challenged.

 

Nicole glared at her.

 

Waverly stuck her bottom lip out, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. "Please? I'm gonna freeze to death at the party."

 

"You should've thought about that when you decided to wear a tank top."

 

Nicole wasn't complaining. Waverly looked good, albeit a little gay. The shirt was cut at the shoulders, the armpits were stretched just enough to see Waverly's ribs and the lace bralette above them. She was trying her damnedest not to stare.

 

"Fashion." Was all Waverly said.

 

When they arrived at the party, Nicole gave her the hoodie, anyway. She couldn't say no once Waverly started _fake_ shivering, emphasising how cold she was not.

 

There was hardly anywhere to park, let alone stand. The place was flooded with people standing around inside and outside. Luckily, the sky was clear and the air was slightly warm. In the previous years, most spring break parties were ruined by rain or cold weather. Nicole could still remember times she had to walk home drunk in the rain. Alcohol and slippery sidewalks don't mix.

 

As Nicole trailed behind Waverly, making their way up the steps and into the house, she could practically feel the music vibrating in her chest. It wasn't her scene and she could tell people knew as they gave her a few questioning looks as she pushed her way past them. It wasn't unusual to see Nicole at a party, at least it didn't used to be. Lately, she'd rather stay at home than show up to some strangers house and surround herself with drunk, sweaty, underage students that didn't give a rats ass about her.

 

_Money,_ was the only thing that Nicole could use as an excuse as to why she was even here. Other than the fact that Waverly wanted her to come and that was enough to make Nicole do anything. Friends, acquaintances, or not.

 

If Waverly told Nicole to jump, she'd ask how high and she almost hated herself for it.

 

Two hours in, Nicole made around a hundred dollars off of dime bags alone. Drunk kids were stupid, apparently. It wasn't even her best strain but it sold like it was.

 

About two and a half hours in, Wynonna was drunkenly telling Nicole that she was leaving with Henry. Nicole had made a joke about Wynonna finally settling down, getting a punch to the arm in response. Normally, she wouldn't let Wynonna leave with anyone in the state she's in but Henry was a good guy, as far as Nicole could tell. Wynonna was more than capable of taking care of herself in any situation and if Nicole didnt trust the guy, she wouldn't let him take her best friend anywhere.

 

According to talk, Stephanie's parties lasted a long time. Considering it was barely midnight, Nicole would be here a while and she definitely wasn't going to be completely sober the entire time. Especially not while watching Waverly drunkenly flirt with anyone that walked her way.

 

As much as she didn't want to smoke her own product, she gave in and made her way towards the backyard anyway. Seeing Waverly flirting with random jocks from their school bothered Nicole more than it should and she'd need _something_ to take her mind off of it.

 

She shouldn't be bothered. Waverly was barely even her _friend_ right now, let alone anything more than that.

 

And on the other hand, her and Chrissy _were._ Even if Nicole was unsure of what it was that was happening between them. It _was_ something and it was wrong of her to worry about her feelings towards another girl while she was doing whatever with Chrissy.

 

Technically, it was wrong of her to even have feelings for another girl but that was a discussion for a different day.

 

A chill ran down Nicole's spine as the wind blew. A few leaves flew around her ankles as she stepped into the yard and pulled the weed out of her pocket. The only thing she had to smoke out of was a blunt wrap, so she ripped the packaging open, deciding it would have to do for now.

 

It took less than ten minutes for Nicole to expertly roll the blunt before she was pulling her lighter out of her pocket and inhaling smoke.

 

She hated smoking alone. It was boring not having someone else to make jokes and laugh with. But Wynonna was with Henry, Waverly was dancing around a crowd of friends and Nicole was just that, _alone._

 

It felt like before and Nicole was starting to realize how much _before_ had sucked.

 

Back then, when Nicole wasn't hanging out with Wynonna or Waverly every weekend, it was just like this, lonely. Most of her days were spent at home, the sounds of her parents arguing floating throughout the house. Sometimes, Nicole would drown it out with headphones. Once she discovered weed, she found a new way to drown out the noises.

 

Most days after school, she'd make her way down to the river on the outside of town. It reminded her of her childhood and the happiness that came with it. The happiness that she spent so long wishing would come back to her.

 

The happiness would come back, eventually. Nicole didn't know that at the time, though. She still doesn't.

 

Temporarily, she got that happiness back, though. With every inhale and exhale of smoke, Nicole felt lighter than before. Like all of her problems — getting kicked off the team, her parents arguing, her family falling apart around her — didn't matter. None of it. Because for a moment, she was happy and in those moments, that's what mattered. She'd forget about everything and everyone around her.

 

Sometimes she wouldn't, though. Sometimes she'd think about all of it. How all of her friendships had suddenly vanished. How she could possibly fail school if she didn't try harder and apply herself more. How her parents were centimeters away from a divorce. Those were the bad days, that was when it sucked.

 

She was just a small part of the universe. So, why did her problems seem so big?

 

Surely, there was someone out there who was going through more, worse.

 

Eventually, she got used to it. The overwhelming feeling of having nothing. She got used to sneaking away during the day when her mom was too busy deciding how she'd ignore the fact that her dad was supposed to be home three hours prior. She got used to not eating, not sleeping and not talking to anyone. She got used to scraping up whatever change she could find around her house just to buy a shitty bag of shitty weed to get her through the day, to help her forget all the unsettling thoughts and feelings running through her head.

 

There was a point in her life when she thought about not dealing with any of it anymore. What did she _actually_ have to live for? School was almost non-existent for her, she had no friends, no family and no one who cared about her. Who would actually notice if she was gone?

 

Then, Wynonna came along and showed Nicole that none of that was true. She had _someone._ Even if they weren't technically friends. For a while, they just smoked together. It became Nicole's new routine.

 

She'd meet Wynonna somewhere outside of school, carrying a few dollars in her pocket, before they headed to whatever dealer was selling and bought weed. They never saw each other outside of the times they'd smoke. They couldn't consider each other friends. But Nicole was okay with that. At least she had someone.

 

After spending a few months with the brunette, it was a friendship. It wasn't just smoking during school hours anymore. It was hanging out on the weekends, breaking into cars and abandoned buildings, stealing from gas stations and running from the cops together. Nicole wasn't sure if anyone else would consider that a friendship but, she did. Wynonna was the closest thing she had to a friend and if getting in trouble together kept whatever they had alive, she was game.

 

Waverly was never a part of it, _never._ Nicole made sure the youngest Earp didn't know what was going on for as long as she could.

 

After Nicole started selling, word got around and Waverly became a part of it. She'd come home early and scold Nicole for being there and encouraging her sister to skip. Even though none of it was Nicole's idea in the first place, she'd take the blame anyway. Despite Wynonna's fuck ups, Waverly still looked up to her. She was her older sister, after all. And Nicole knew Wynonna would do everything in her power to make sure Waverly was safe, that she was okay. The way they cared for each other was something Nicole could only dream about.

 

The two of them were a family. They made it work, despite everything they'd been through. They _always_ made it work. So, Nicole _always_ took the blame.

 

Nicole never made any more friends. Anyone she talked to, she'd consider an acquaintance. It wasn't until she started _actually_ hanging out with Waverly that she'd consider other people her friends. Waverly was her friend, even if Nicole had an unwaivering crush on the girl.

 

Waverly _was_ her friend.

 

Right now, Nicole wasn't even sure of that.

 

Every time they'd been together, she'd start acting weird. There wasn't a trigger and if there was, Nicole couldn't figure it out. It was never anything that Nicole had said. It would be random. Waverly would get quiet, become closed off. She'd say she's fine but then show all the signs that she's not. Nicole couldn't push. She had been in that position. If Waverly had a secret, if she had a problem, if she didn't want to talk about it; why would Nicole continue asking? There was a possibility that could make it worse and Nicole wouldn't be the person to push Waverly over the edge if she had any control over it.

 

Nicole shook her head as she caught herself thinking about the one person she was trying to get her mind off of.

 

She coughed as she exhaled a big cloud of smoke. Her lungs were burning, her throat hurt and there was a bad taste in her mouth — it wasn't good weed, after all. — but Nicole _needed_ this. If she couldn't drink, she could smoke. By the time she drives Waverly home, she'd be sober anyway. If not, a little buzzed.

 

Leaves crunched behind her, causing her to turn around. If she'd been paying attention, she would've heard the back door open and Chrissy walking out. But too many thoughts were occupying her mind at the moment.

 

Chrissy smiled slightly, tucking her hands into her jacket pocket as she inched her way towards Nicole. Her eyes flickered back and forth between the blunt in Nicole's hands and her own eyes.

 

She raised her eyebrows. "You're smoking?"

 

Nicole stared at the blunt before taking another hit, ghosting the smoke before exhaling. Clockwork. "Is it that much of a surprise by now?"

 

With a shake of her head, Chrissy's smile widened, it was genuine, as she reached for the rolled up weed before taking a hit herself. "No. I think it's hot."

 

Nicole quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

 

Chrissy blew the smoke from her lungs and right into Nicole's face before taking a step closer. "Uh huh."

 

As the inches between them disappeared, Nicole heart rate sped up. Her mind barely registered what was about to happen in time.

  
  


——

  
  


Waverly was growing accustomed to parties. She was never _not_ used to it but loud noises and crowded rooms always bothered her. Recently, she'd gotten more comfortable with it.

 

She needed a release and if she couldn't smoke with Nicole, drinking would be the next best thing.

 

As she downed shot after shot, all of her inhibitions left the room. She promised Wynonna she wouldn't get too drunk but they both knew that was a promise she wouldn't be keeping.

 

Stephanie's parties had always been a _go big or go home_ kind of deal. Never once, since the blonde has been in Purgatory, has she thrown a shitty party and Waverly appreciated it to no ends. They always lasted well past midnight and there was _always_ enough alcohol to fill two whole bars — more than enough for Waverly.

 

From the moment she walked in the door, she knew what she'd be doing. Drinking was the only part of her night that was planned, honestly. Dancing with anyone willing to, was not part of the plan. She was going to stick with Nicole but the redhead had money to make and Waverly really didn't feel like following her around all night.

 

Any other time, she would. She'd follow Nicole anywhere if it meant spending time with her. It was different now, though.

 

Waverly was still unsure of what her feelings towards the girl actually meant. For as long as she could remember, she was straight. There'd been a few memories that she must've suppressed because once Waverly started thinking about it, it all kind of made sense. But still, it was confusing. She could look at a hundred attractive girls but not actually be _attracted_ to them.

 

It was just Nicole.

 

And thinking back on it, it had always been _just_ Nicole.

 

Waverly had never felt the same way she feels about Nicole towards anyone else.

 

Confusing.

 

After her sixth shot, chased with more liquor, she decided she needed some fresh air. The makeshift dance floor was becoming too crowded for Waverly's taste and the smell of sweat mixed with alcohol was the last thing she'd ask for in any situation.

 

She pushed her way through the dozens of people surrounding her and made her way to the nearest door. The feeling of vomit was evident at the back of her throat and if she wasn't so drunk, she'd be giving herself water to sober up. But she wasn't sober, nor did she want to be.

 

The temperature outside had dropped slightly. Not enough to be cold and definitely not with the alcohol running through Waverly's blood, heating her up. It felt good on her skin. As she leaned back against the side of the house, she closed her eyes. A wave of dizziness washed over her but she didn't care enough to stop it from happening. It felt nice not being in control of herself for once. She'd spent her whole life setting boundaries and making imaginary lines that she promised herself she'd never cross. It felt good to let go for once without worrying about the consequences that came with.

 

Not that there really were any. Gus was hardly ever at the homestead and Wynonna was with Henry, if Waverly came home drunk, no one would know about it but Nicole.

 

Waverly smiled at the thought of the redhead. She couldn't help herself. Sober or not, her mind always went there. Most days, she didn't mind. That was, if Nicole wasn't being her infuriatingly stubborn self. Some days, it would annoy Waverly. The fact that her mind never wandered to anyone else pissed her off.

 

_It would be nice if you could just move on, Dipshit._ She told herself.

 

Time and time again she's had this same one-sided conversation with herself. Her feelings never altered, though. It was a never ending battle that she was getting tired of losing.

 

Waverly cracked her eyes open when she heard noises from across the yard. Her vision was blurry but without a doubt, she knew what she was looking at. She squinted, furrowing her eyebrows as she watched Nicole and Chrissy initiate what looked like the start of a kiss. Immediately, the vomit in the back of her throat seemed more prominent.

 

And if she would've stayed, she would've seen Nicole stop whatever was happening, from happening.

 

But she didn't. Instead, she swiftly turned around and blindly made her way back to the table full of liquor, pouring herself a glass full of whiskey and downing it just as fast as she had poured it.

 

It was going to be a long night.

  
  


——

  
  


Nicole took a step back as she put her hand on Chrissy's waist, stopping her from doing what she was about to do. "You're drunk." She pointed out. "And probably high. It's not a good idea."

 

Chrissy gave her a confused look. "I'm not."

 

"I know for a fact you've had at least enough drinks to make you do things you wouldn't do sober. For example, come out here and try to kiss me."

 

"What's that saying? Something about alcohol being a truth serum. If I didn't want to kiss you sober, I wouldn't try kissing you while drunk."

 

Nicole smirked. "I'll tell you what. If you want to kiss me that badly, then you can come to me when you've had nothing to drink and kiss me then."

 

Chrissy smiled. "So, tomorrow?"

 

Nicole shrugged and acted like she was thinking about it. "I suppose."

 

In all honesty, she was thinking about it. Did she actually want to kiss Chrissy? She wanted to get over Waverly, right? Getting under someone else always seemed to work for other people.

 

But getting over Waverly or not; it was wrong to do it with her best friend and Nicole felt a little guilty about it.

 

Although, she'd probably feel more guilty if Waverly knew about her feelings. As far as she knew, Nicole didn't like her and she actually was interested in Chrissy. She wasn't doing anything wrong by those standards.

 

But Nicole knew the truth; that she'd probably _always_ have feelings for Waverly no matter who she was with.

  
  
  


The party lasted well into the morning and by the time Nicole dragged Waverly out the door and into the car, it was almost light.

 

There was a bit of a fight on Waverly's end, she was adamant on not leaving. At some point, Nicole was going to give up. Waverly _wouldn't_ get in the car. It didn't matter what Nicole tried, she wouldn't. Eventually, somehow, Nicole got her into the passenger seat, because no matter how much she wanted to give up, she promised to get Waverly home safely and who would Nicole be if she didn't stick by that promise.

 

The car ride from the Jones' house to the homestead was loud, maybe too loud for the early morning, as Waverly blasted the radio and sang along sloppily to whatever song came on.

 

Nicole thought it would be easier to get Waverly into her own house but she was reluctant on handing over the keys. If it had been anyone else's house, she would've just broken in. But Wynonna would kill her if she just so happened to break the lock or a window and Gus probably wouldn't be too happy either.

 

"Waves, seriously. Where's the house key?"

 

Waverly shrugged drunkenly. "I don't know. Where did you put it?"

 

Nicole groaned and leaned her forehead against the side of the house. "Waverly, please, stop being so difficult right now."

 

Waverly shoes came into Nicole's line of sight as she leaned against the house next to her. She took a deep breath and dropped her head back against the wood, mumbling, "I'm tired."

 

"Then, give me the house key and you can go lay down." She looked up at the brunette expectantly.

 

Waverly shook her head, closing her eyes as she did so. "I'm not sleepy. I'm _tired._ Drained."

 

Nicole had seen Waverly drunk before but never _this_ drunk. Her words slurred together worse than before, her legs were wobbly even while leaning against something and Nicole could smell the alcohol seeping from her pores. If they had school today, she definitely wouldn't be attending.

 

The brunette shoved her hands into Nicole's hoodie pocket. Another item of clothing she'd probably never get back. Not that she was complaining, Waverly looked good in Nicole's clothes.

 

"I don't want you to date Chrissy." She mumbled.

 

Suddenly, any muscle memory that was based around breathing flew out of Nicole's mind as she choked on air. "What?" Her voice was rough as she spoke.

 

"I don't want you and Chrissy to be together." Waverly reiterated.

 

Nicole cleared her throat, turning around and facing the smaller girl. "Why not?"

 

And when Waverly looked at Nicole with so much emotion in her eyes, she started to regret asking the question. Everything was out in the open, there were no barriers in front of her feelings anymore, she wasn't hiding anything.

 

"Because I want you to date me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I signed up for overtime at work so I'll be working longer hours this coming week; hopefully, I can get a fee chapters written out before then so I'm not leaving you guys hanging.
> 
> for anyone that read the band au/motorcycle gang fic; the second book is coming soon (:


	7. fill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so, if you're still reading this sjdjdjf Im finally updating it. I've been super busy with work and im also really sick right now but it's been a while, I figured I'd make some people happy or something lmao.
> 
> this is ultimately just a filler chapter. which is why I'm updating two chapters instead of just this one. no one kill me please.

Any other year, spring break would fly by. For other people, it probably was. But for Nicole, it seemed like the days kept dragging on and all she could do was countdown the hours until school started again.

 

Everything seemed like it was running in slow motion. Especially now that Nicole was home.

 

She hadn't left her house in days except to go to the grocery store for her mother or go make a deal on the outside of town.

 

Chrissy blew up her phone with a dozen texts everyday asking when they were going to hangout and if Nicole was feeling okay. Waverly texted her a few times, the messages were normal. Something that led Nicole to believe that Waverly had been too drunk to remember her confession.

 

If it was different before, Nicole didn't have a word to describe what it was now.

 

A month ago, Nicole would've been over the moon at Waverly's forwardness. But now, it wasn't the same, not nearly.

 

When Waverly came out, Nicole started distancing herself. Only slightly, never enough for anyone to notice. She closed herself off and did her best attempt at pushing her feelings down far enough that she could at least ignore how many there actually was and how strong they actually were.

 

Never once had it occurred to her that Waverly might feel the same way. It wasn't even a possibility in her mind.

 

There were so many reasons why they couldn't be together.

 

Waverly was Wynonna's little sister. Wynonna was Nicole's best friend. Nicole is _something_ with Chrissy. Chrissy is Waverly's best friend.

 

And then there was Champ and everyone at school.

 

The rumors, whispering and talk had slowly stopped throughout the past few months. It had dialed down and Nicole was finally able to walk through the hallways without getting stared down by twenty different people. If Champ found out she was dating Waverly, so many things could happen.

 

He was already extremely homophobic and there had been times back in middle school where he had bullied her for being gay. If he caught wind of the fact that Waverly might have feelings for Nicole, or that Nicole might have feelings for Waverly, the bullying back then would seem so miniscule compared to what would come now.

 

Nicole had never thought about these things before because they didn't matter. Now, though? Now, Waverly liked her back. Waverly wanted to _date_ her. Whatever feelings Nicole had for her, weren't one sided anymore. They were reciprocated.

 

A month ago, hearing Waverly say she liked her back would've been music to Nicole's ears.

 

Now, it was the complete opposite.

  
  


———

  
  


Spring break for Waverly was drastically different. The days seemed like they were going way too fast. In just a few days, school would start again and Waverly was everything but prepared.

 

The months after spring break were usually the easiest but most stressful months of highschool. Most of the students spend their time either attempting to get their grades up before classes end or they give up and don't even bother, deciding it would be pointless.

 

For Waverly, the months after spring break usually consisted of hanging out with Champ and his group of friends while they smoke and drank, preparing for summer. This year would be different, though.

 

Waverly wasn't dating Champ anymore. She was on her own, living with this _stupid_ crush on a girl she can't even have.

 

The months after spring break would be hell and Waverly was positive she wouldn't get through them.

 

Especially if she had to see Nicole and Chrissy together all the time.

 

Nicole, who wasn't texting her back and if she did, she was being short and uninterested in everything Waverly sent. Nicole, who wasn't offering to hang out with Waverly anymore, let alone Chrissy.

 

There was something off about the entire situation and Waverly didn't piece any of it together until Chrissy came walking into her room, talking a hundred miles per hour.

 

Starting with, "Nicole is acting weird." And ending with, "Do you know why?"

 

But Waverly didn't know why. The redhead had always been sort of distant but lately, it seems like the distance has increased tremendously.

 

"We'd usually be hanging out right now but every time I text her asking if she wants to, she makes a million excuses about why she can't." Chrissy plopped down onto Waverly's bed, staring at the ceiling and sighing.

 

"Maybe she just needs time to be alone or something." Waverly tried. "Or maybe she actually is busy."

 

Chrissy shook her head. "We had plans before we went to Steph's party. Then, afterwards, she just randomly started bailing on all of them."

 

Memories of the party flashed through Waverly's mind. The taste of liquor, the dancing, the sight of Chrissy and Nicole kissing, — or almost kissing, she was still unsure, — _more_ drinking.

 

"I thought we were doing good." Chrissy explained, still staring at the ceiling. "Then, she left to take you home and I've barely heard from her since."

 

Waverly's eyes widened as she remembered _everything._

 

The car ride, searching for her keys, her confession, — or whatever you'd call it, — the look of panic on Nicole's face afterwards.

 

Her stomach sank as she tried to remember what happened next. _Nothing._ It was the only part of that entire night that Waverly was completely unsure about. Everything else seemed so clear compared to her moment of amnesia. She couldn't help but feel like all of _this_ was her fault. Nicole didn't start ignoring everyone until now. Until Waverly, somewhat, told her how she feels. Granted, if she was sober, she probably would've had a whole speech planned and ready to go by the time she actually _did_ tell Nicole.

 

But she never actually planned on telling her. As far as Waverly was concerned, it was a secret between her and Wynonna and it would stay that way. For all she knew, it was just a stupid unattainable crush and, frankly, if she knew this is how Nicole would react, she would've never even told Wynonna.

 

Their friendship, or whatever they had now, was ruined and it was all Waverly's fault.

  
  


———

 

Days turned into weeks until Waverly and Nicole finally spoke again.

 

It wasn't anyone's fault, technically. School had kept both of them busy, especially now that Nicole was actually _trying_ to graduate.

 

Waverly made just about a thousand different plans on how she'd talk to Nicole. For no reason, though, because Nicole didn't even seem to think about Waverly or anything she'd said that morning.

 

After a few days of school starting back up, Nicole and Chrissy resolved whatever conflict they had. They were back to their usual routine and Waverly couldn't be more jealous. It seemed so easy for them. But then again, Nicole already knew Chrissy liked her. The blonde didn't have to worry about ruining anything between them by confessing her feelings while drunk. But Waverly did have to worry about it. For great reason considering she did just _that._

 

A big part of her wishes she could just walk up to Nicole and act like none of it happened, or at least apologize for anything she said that upset the redhead. But every time she tried, she couldn't go through with it.

 

There'd been dozens of moments that she'd see Nicole in the hallway, or in class, or sitting in her car after school. Dozens of chances, dozens of times she could've said something. Instead, she'd freeze up. Her entire body would stop, her brain wouldn't even put a full sentence together fast enough before Waverly was turning around and walking in the opposite direction.

 

It was a Friday when she finally gained the confidence to say something. Or rather, she was forced to.

 

Running into Nicole, head first, in the middle of the hallway wasn't exactly on Waverly's itinerary. Honestly, she was tired of pushing the 'issue' to the side and not dealing with it. Nicole was one of the closest people to Waverly; there was no way she'd be able to never speak to the redhead again.

 

So, better late than never, right?

 

The nerves didn't hit her until everyone around them started ducking into the classrooms before the bell rang; until it was almost quiet and Waverly couldn't think of a single word to say. Any speech that she had planned was blown out the window the second Nicole's eyes met hers.

 

"Hi." Waverly whispered.

 

Nicole smiled and _god,_ did Waverly miss the sight. "Hi."

 

"Can we talk?"

 

She watched as Nicole looked around the hallway before glancing at the clock above the bathrooms. "Right now?" She quirked an eyebrow.

 

Waverly nodded with hopeful eyes. "Preferably, yes or I might not be able to next time."

 

"Okay. Did you wanna talk here, or?"

 

Waverly shrugged because, honestly, she hadn't thought about it. None of her planned speeches started like this. "We can talk wherever you want to."

  
  


About fifteen minutes later, Waverly was climbing into the familiar passenger seat of Nicole's car. Her hands didn't start shaking until the door closed and Nicole was next to her. Everything seemed so, _real,_ now. It was all hitting her and not a single part of Waverly was sure she could have _this_ conversation anymore.

 

But for the first time in her life, Waverly finally found someone that made her happy; even if it was nothing more than a friendship. Nicole made her happy, she made her feel safe. Waverly didn't have many friends anymore. She didn't have the same social status, the same group of people cheering her on from the sidelines at a game; the only person she had was Wynonna.

 

And then, Nicole.

 

The redhead didn't care about any of the things Waverly did. She didn't care if Waverly wasn't as popular anymore. She didn't care about whatever hierarchy there was and where Waverly stood on that list.

 

She cared about _Waverly._ The smiles, the jokes, the friendship, the person she was when nobody but Nicole was around.

 

And all of that _is_ worth it.

 

So, despite her nerves and the unwaivering feeling of self doubt settling in her stomach, Waverly _would_ have this conversation.

 

She cleared her throat, grounding herself before speaking. "I just, I wanted to apologize."

 

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows, subconsciously gripping the bottom of the steering wheel. "Apologize?"

 

"Yes." The brunette shifted in her seat, facing more towards Nicole. "I overstepped some boundaries after Steph's party and I wanted to say that I'm so, _so_ sorry, Nicole. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything and I just-"

 

"Waverly," She interrupted. "It's fine." When Waverly shot her an unsure look, she continued. "I swear, it's okay. You didn't make me uncomfortable at all. I just wasn't sure how to deal with the situation and I panicked."

 

Waverly sighed audibly, relief washing over her. After a moment, she let out a small chuckle that confused Nicole.

 

"I'm sorry." Waverly shook her head. "I have to ask, though. What happened after I told you?"

 

Nicole let out a small, breathy laugh. "Well."

  
  


—

  
  


_"Because I want you to date me."_

 

_The words sounded so foreign to Nicole's ears and she was almost positive that she didn't hear them correctly._

 

_She'd be completely positive if it weren't for the fact that Waverly was looking at her with so much confidence, Nicole couldn't be wrong._

 

_Waverly_ had _said those words just barely a minute ago and they were already effecting Nicole. Her stomach clenched in knots and if she would've been in the same state Waverly was currently in, she probably would've thrown up everything she'd drank._

 

_Unfortunately, she wasn't drunk. She was completely sober and_ wishing _she was anything but._

 

_In an attempt to calm her nerves, she let out a laugh. It didn't help but it made Waverly laugh and that was enough to distract the brunette so Nicole could get the house key._

 

_After half a dozen protests from Waverly about going to bed, Nicole finally got her inside and into her room in one piece_ _. She sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the blankets over Waverly's body as she mumbled whatever alcohol induced thoughts came to her head._

 

_"You're ignoring me." She slurred._

 

_Nicole shook her head. "I am not. I'm helping you."_

 

_Waverly sighed loudly. "Yes, you are but, it's okay." She smiled_ _._

 

_Nicole chuckled. "Whatever you say, Waverly."_

  
  


—

  
  


"Well, at least I didn't embarrass myself too much." Waverly laughed.

 

Nicole nodded. "Well, other than the ear piercing singing that you did in the car."

 

They both laughed in unison and Waverly found herself hoping that none of this changes.

 

Ever.


	8. open the damn door, you weirdos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now I have to go to work for twelve hours (:

The neighborhood that Nicole lived in was unusually quiet as she sat in the driveway of her house. Her parents weren't home for once. There weren't sounds of an argument flooding through the open windows. The only noises were the birds chirping somewhere along the treetops.

 

Any other day, Nicole would beg the God's above for a little bit of peace and quiet. But right now, she wanted anything else. Even her parents screams would be more comforting than this.

 

Her hands shook as she stared at the white envelope in her lap. A few years ago — hell, even just a few months ago— Nicole wouldn't have even bothered opening it. She wouldn't have cared. The only time she ever really cared about grades was when she was on the basketball team. The coaches made it very clear that the players needed good grades to stay on the team so, Nicole made sure she had them. After basketball, though, that thought process left, along with many other things.

 

In her opinion, grades were stupid. Pointless, almost. The fact that a few letters could determine your entire future never made sense to her. The fact that everyone is judged by the same level of standards is questionable. You can't judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, right? The fish can still swim perfectly fine. It'll get by in life without ever needing to climb a tree. So, why do we set the same lines for people? There could be someone out there that doesn't quite understand History but is perfectly capable of curing cancer or creating life on Mars. But if they don't pass History, how would they get the chance to prove that they have that ability? Stupid.

 

Nicole glanced in the rearview mirror at the street behind her. There was a squirrel near the curb chewing on a fallen acorn. She watched as it ran up a tree and chuckled at the irony of it.

 

Looking around and taking in her surroundings, everything seemed so simple. A group of children a few doors down laughed and screamed as they played in the front yard, dogs jumped around happily while their owners watered the flowers. Simple. She watched as a little boy fell down, scraping his knee on the sidewalk. The sudden burst of screams drowned by tears filled the air and within seconds, a woman Nicole assumed was his mother was picking him up and bringing him to the porch.

 

She found herself wishing it was still that simple. If the worst thing happening in her life was scraping her knee, Nicole wouldn't be worried at all. But it never was _simple._

 

Throughout her entire life, Nicole has _always_ had it hard. Her childhood was never easy and it only got worse as she got older. For a while, she thought that's what everyone's life was like. Listening to her parents argue became a routine. Not having food on the table was normal to her. As the years past, she started to realize how different it's _supposed_ to be. She'd watch kids at school laugh and joke with their siblings and wish she could have someone like that. Then, she'd go home and be thankful that her parents didn't have another child because never in her life, would she wish her situation upon somebody else. She'd fought for herself. She went to school because she wanted to make something of herself. She woke up everyday, got dressed, put a smile on her face and acted as if everything was okay. Nicole has never known what _simple_ actually means. Scraping her knee had been the least of her worries as a child and she was, for the most part, okay with that.

 

The envelope in her lap was long forgotten as she shoved the keys in the ignition, threw the car in reverse and pulled out of the driveway, rocks flying beneath the tires.

 

Nicole wasn't good at confrontation and she wasn't good at making decisions. Which is why, when she pulled down the dirt path leading to the homestead, she almost turned around. If she didn't do this, though, she'd never find out whether she's graduating or not. She'd never open that envelope on her own and Waverly always seemed to be able to get Nicole to do things she thought she couldn't.

 

So, on a whim, she made the decision to visit the Earp homestead. 

 

She had told Wynonna she'd be busy today and there wasn't a single part of her that was looking forward to the questions that the brunette would have. Telling your best friend that you can't hangout, just to show up at her house to see her sister is a bit confusing.

 

With each knock on the door, Nicole's hand tightened on the paper in her pocket. It was crinkled and messy now and she couldn't care less. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to know what it said anymore.

 

Waverly opened the door and Nicole pushed her way through without thinking. In any other circumstance, she might've just walked in but for some reason, this was different. Maybe it wasn't but it certainly felt like it.

 

She pulled the envelope out of her hoodie pocket without saying anything, sticking out her hand and pushing the offending item into Waverly's grasp. The brunette furrowed her eyebrows in response.

 

"I need you to open it." Was all Nicole could get out.

 

And sure, maybe it seemed a bit dramatic. But for a moment in her life, she lost herself. She dropped her classes, didn't attend school, never bothered to care about her grades or her future. Her plans never went any further than what drug deal she was making next. Until, Waverly came along. For a moment in her life, she felt wanted, she felt important; she felt like she could do _this._ Graduate, go to college, create a life and a name for herself outside of what her family has broken her down to. Waverly believed in her. She had the most faith in her that Nicole had ever seen and even through every _single_ argument or disagreement, she still continued to help Nicole become who she is now.

 

So, sure. Nicole would be dramatic because, honestly? Never in a million years did she think she'd make it here. Even if she wasn't graduating; she's still _here._

 

"What's in it?" Waverly asked, looking at the envelope with pure confusion spread across her face.

 

Nicole shrugged in an attempt to calm her nerves. "My report card."

 

Waverly's eyes widened as she glanced back and forth between Nicole and the paper in her hands. "Why haven't you opened it?"

 

"Because I can't." Nicole sighed and sat down on the arm of the couch. "If I open it and I'm not graduating. Then, I would have done all this work for no reason. I can't be the one who opens it."

 

Waverly gave her a sympathetic look before moving forward. Nicole's heart sped up as she stepped between her legs, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers.

 

"If you're not graduating — Which, I'm sure you are — that doesn't mean you did all this work for nothing." Waverly tightened her grip. "You worked hard for this, Nicole. You're the one that decided to let me tutor you. You're the one that decided to get your grades back up and better yourself. No one else could've made that decision for you."

 

Nicole smiled slightly. She avoided eye contact, staring at anything else but Waverly. The brunette was right but that unsettling feeling was still sitting in Nicole's stomach and she couldn't shake it.

 

"Are you sure you don't want to open it?"

 

Nicole nodded. "Yeah. I'd rather someone else look at it first."

 

Waverly paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and stepping back slightly. She tucked her fingers under the opening of the envelope and gently ripped it open, pulling out the contents.

 

"Wait!" Nicole stood up quickly, covering Waverly's hands with her own to stop her from unfolding the paper.

 

Waverly raised her eyebrows in response.

 

"Did you pass?" Nicole asked quietly and the smile that lit up the shorter girls face was enough of an answer.

 

"Yes."

 

Nicole grinned, momentarily forgetting about the single piece of paper that was causing her life so much hell. That was, until Waverly held it up, shaking it slightly.

 

"Right." Nicole nodded and watched as Waverly unfolded the paper.

 

There was a short moment of regret as Nicole watched Waverly features, looking for any sign of if what she was reading was good or bad. That moment was soon over when Waverly looked up at her with bright eyes and wide smile.

 

"You're graduating!" She yelled excitedly.

 

Nicole froze for a few seconds before it actually hit her. She _was_ graduating. After months and months of trying to get her grades up, months of attending a class she hardly understood, years of hell. She was graduating.

 

She joined Waverly in screaming, jumping up and down. Nicole wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and squeezed tightly as they both laughed. Waverly's scent filled her senses and she told herself she could stay like this forever, happiness washing over her completely. For once in her life, everything seemed... okay.

 

And okay was more than enough compared to the other words she'd previously use to describe it.

 

"Would you two get a room?" Wynonna groaned as she walked into the living room.

 

"Nicole is graduating." Waverly smiled, distancing herself slightly from the redhead.

 

Nicole could tell Wynonna was proud. Her eyes _always_ gave her away and the way they shimmered when she smiled was an obvious give away.

 

"Congrats, Haught. You're finally doing something with your life." Wynonna joked.

 

"Yeah, yeah." Nicole rolled her eyes playfully.

 

Wynonna perked up, a mischievous smile spreading across her face. "We should celebrate."

 

"You do know that you don't _need_ a reason to throw a party, right? You could just, throw one." Waverly crossed her arms in front of her.

 

"Yes, dipshit. I do know that." Wynonna smiled sarcastically. "But when is the last time Nicole had her very own party?" She quirked an eyebrow challengingly.

 

"Never." Nicole laughed. "And I really don't need a party thrown just because I'm passing high school."

 

Wynonna sighed. "Okay. Well, I need a party thrown just because you're passing high school. So, we're having one."

 

"Here?" Waverly raised her eyebrows.

 

Wynonna shrugged. "We can have it in the barn?" She suggested.

  
  


——

  
  


Nicole had never been at a party before the party actually started. Truth be told, she never really thought about what planning a party entailed. She'd usually just, _show up._

 

But as she watched Wynonna run around the open barn, carting bottles of liquor and bags of food in and out of the door, she had to force herself to suppress her laughter. It was fun seeing Wynonna react like this to something so small.

 

Waverly _loved_ planning things. That was something Nicole learned early on in their friendship. Most of the time, she had everything under control. Wynonna on the other hand; well, she was anything but a planner and it showed.

 

The house was a mess, due to Wynonna dragging out various different things that had absolutely nothing to do with what was happening today. The barn was _barely_ put together. But still, she continued to inform both Nicole and Waverly that everything was under control and she was fully capable of handling things on her own.

 

Nicole leaned back against a wooden beam, grinning amusingly. "Should we help her, now?"

 

They were sat on the floor of the second story of the barn. The space was small and dusty and it was obvious that no one spent much of their time up here but Nicole found it comforting. There was something about being so high up. Like all of her problems were as small as Wynonna looked from the ground.

 

Waverly shrugged and dangled her legs over the side, swinging them through the air. "Do you think she'd let us?"

 

"I can hear you." Wynonna rolled her eyes and tossed a few bags of chips on the foldable table.

 

From where she sat, the barn almost looked home-y to Nicole. Wynonna did make it look nice, she's got to give her that one.

 

"So, that's a no?" Nicole smirked.

 

"Would you two just, go do _something._ Anything but staying here would suffice."

 

"Ooh," Nicole cooed. "She knows smart words." She looked at Waverly and they both laughed.

 

Within five minutes, Wynonna was kicking them out of the barn and sending them into town for soda, mumbling something about the weak ones needing a chaser.

  
  
  


By the time the party _actually_ started, Nicole was already nearly drunk. She was surprised how many people actually showed up but then she realized that it's a _party_ and high school students thrived on those.

 

In all honesty, the last thing she needed was a party but letting go for once did feel good. She wasn't worried about selling, getting caught or anything in between that. Nicole deserved this and she'd let herself have it.

 

The barn idea didn't last very long. It was nice outside and no one wanted to be couped up inside all night. It didn't take long for everyone to move outside, surrounding the yard and house. People were everywhere and every time Nicole turned around, she was running into someone she knew. Most of them were clients, a few of them were just people she knew from around the school. No one important. No one Nicole cared enough to stay and talk to.

 

Reclaiming her spot from earlier, Nicole climbed onto the second story of the barn and sat down. It was peaceful up here and she liked that no one bothered to look up when they walked through. She watched the crowd of people through the open window. Everyone seemed so happy, drunkenly or else, happy nonetheless. It made her smile despite herself.

 

Just a few more weeks and school will be over. She'll never have to see any of these people again if she doesn't want to. Well, maybe. Considering how small Purgatory is, she'd probably see a lot of them quite a bit. But it's the thought that counts.

 

"Hey."

 

Nicole jumped as Waverly poked her head up from the ladder.

 

"That's my hoodie." Her eyes casted over Waverly's small framed as she climbed the last few steps and sat down across from Nicole. The black hoodie was slightly big on her and she almost looked like she was drowning in it but Nicole couldn't help but think about how cute Waverly looked in this moment. Her hair was down, falling in loose waves slightly past her shoulders. It had grown a lot since she cut it but still, somehow, it looked cute.

 

"Do you want it back? I completely forgot I had it until I found it again." Waverly explained.

 

Nicole chuckled and shook her head. "No, it's fine. You can have it."

 

Waverly smiled. "Can I have that one?" She nodded towards Nicole's jacket. It wasn't anything special. It was just a plain, gray, Nike jacket.

 

"No way." Nicole looked down at her own clothes. "You have two already, why would you need another one?"

 

The brunette shrugged, pulling the sleeves over her hands and swinging them around aimlessly. "Maybe I just like wearing your clothes."

 

And she wasn't sure what, but something about the sentence made Nicole's heart race.

 

Obviously, Waverly liked her. That much had been established. Nicole thought they'd just go back to how they were. Their normal routine of whatever this was. She never thought Waverly would blatantly flirt with her, all while wearing _her_ hoodie. But was she even flirting? Nicole didn't want to jump to conclusions. Besides, it didn't matter anyway. In what universe could they _actually_ be a thing?

 

"Do you wanna smoke?"

 

It wasn't the question that surprised Nicole. It was the way Waverly was so.. nonchalant about it.

 

"Uhh," Nicole stammered. She furrowed her eyebrows before shrugging. "I don't really have anything on me."

 

Waverly smiled. "That's okay, I have some."

 

Nicole quirked an eyebrow. "You, what?"

 

"I have weed." Waverly stated obviously.

 

"Waverly Earp," Nicole feigned a gasp. "Did you partake in a drug deal?"

 

"Do you want to smoke or not?" Waverly rolled her eyes.

 

Nicole chuckled and nodded her head, scooting closer to the brunette. "Sure."

 

"Okay. So," Waverly started, pulling the weed and a blunt wrap out of her pocket. "I stole the cigar thing from Wynonna but I can't tell you where I got the weed."

 

Nicole raised her eyebrows in amusement. "A drug deal and robbery. Wow."

 

Waverly handed her both items before tucking her hands back into her pockets and pulling out a lighter. "And I got this."

 

Nicole laughed as she opened the Swisher wrapper and pulled the weed from the sandwich bag. It took her a few minutes before the blunt was rolled. It wasn't her best and if anyone asked, she'd blame it on the alcohol and not the fact that she was rolling weed she got from _Waverly_ of all people.

 

"I think I'm having a bad influence on you." Nicole mumbled as she ran the flame across the side of the blunt, sealing it.

 

Waverly shrugged. "Yeah but better you than someone more dangerous, right?"

 

Nicole quirked an eyebrow. "Dangerous?"

 

Waverly's eyes widened. "I didn't mean it like that! I just, I mean like-"

 

"Waverly, I'm kidding. Calm down." Nicole laughed, holding up the blunt. "Do you want to light this?"

 

She shook her head. "No, you can."

 

"You can't mess it up, you know? You just light it."

 

Waverly rolled her eyes. "Would you just light it before someone comes in here?"

 

Nicole glanced out of the window at the dozens of people spread throughout the yard. None of them were paying any attention to anything around them. She stuck the blunt between her lips and flicked the lighter, drawing the flame through the end and inhaling the smoke. Nicole laughed as she exhaled, blowing the smoke through the window.

 

"You definitely stole this from Wynonna." She said, handing the blunt to Waverly.

 

"I did not." She lied.

 

Nicole nodded. "Do you really think I wouldn't recognize my own weed? That's definitely from Wynonna."

 

"Is it considered stealing if I left money?" Waverly asked hopefully and Nicole couldn't bring herself to tell her the truth, that yes, it was still considered stealing.

  
  


Smoking with Waverly was different now and if Nicole was oblivious, she'd say she doesn't know why. But she's not oblivious, she's fully aware of the reason why. Waverly _actually_ likes her and this time, it's not a secret. It's not something that Nicole is just _hoping_ is true. It _is_ true and it's out in the open.

 

They haven't talked about it since that day in Nicole's car and if Nicole wasn't slightly inebriated, they probably wouldn't have talked about it now. But she was drinking and smoking and all logical thoughts flew out the window along with the smoke.

 

They were both leaned up against the wall, side by side. Waverly's head was on her shoulder, her eyes glued to something in front of her. It was quiet, despite the party happening outside.

 

"What do you do when you smoke with Wynonna?" Waverly passed the blunt to Nicole before sitting up straight.

 

Nicole shrugged. "Well, that depends on if we want to risk getting in trouble or not."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Usually, we go into abandoned buildings or something. There's a minimal chance of us getting in trouble if we get caught."

 

"And if you do want to risk it?" Waverly quirked an eyebrow.

 

Nicole smirked at the countless memories of running from the cops with Wynonna by her side. "There was that one time we stole Ms. Jones' mailbox."

 

Waverly raised her eyebrows in amusement. "That was _you?_ Do you know how long I had to hear about that from Chrissy?"

 

Nicole chuckled. "Yeah. It was fun until we realized we had nothing to do with the mailbox."

 

"What did you do with it?"

 

"Do you remember that hospital that we went to?" Nicole smirked when Waverly nodded. "We stuck it in the ground behind there. There wasn't a reason for it but we were high and it was pretty funny at the time."

 

Waverly shook her head and laughed. "Ridiculous."

 

Nicole shrugged, joining in on the laughter. She relit the blunt and took a hit, then a drink, then another hit before passing it to Waverly. Her lungs were on fire, her throat was burning and she was anything but sober but not a single part of her cared. She felt free, and happy. For once, she didn't have to worry about anything else around her. She was safe and she _felt_ safe.

 

"I have a question for you." She prompted. Waverly looked at her, curiosity in her eyes as she exhaled smoke. "Why do you like me?" She whispered.

 

There wasn't a reason, nothing to justify why Nicole asked other than, she wanted to know. Not many people liked her. She knew why Shae had dated her, she had an idea why Chrissy liked her but why Waverly did, was a complete mystery in itself.

 

"What?" Waverly furrowed her eyebrows.

 

Nicole shrugged. "I mean, okay. You've never _actually_ said you like me but it was implied and I don't know, I just wanna know why."

 

Waverly chuckled quietly. "To clarify, I _do_ like you. I just, really, wasn't expecting that question to come from your mouth." She paused for a moment before shrugging and continuing. "I guess I don't really know? I can list all of the things I like about you but the feelings are still a bit confusing to me. I've never actually liked a girl before you, so."

 

"Aw. So, I'm your first?" Nicole smirked, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

 

Waverly hit her arm gently. "Shut up."

 

"What's going on up here?"

 

Nicole's eyes widened at the sound of Wynonna's voice. Quickly, she grabbed the still lit blunt and flicked it out the window, waving her hands slightly to clear the smoke.

 

"It smells like weed." Wynonna slurred.

 

She was drunk. Nicole sighed in relief.

 

"Were you guys smoking?" Wynonna questioned. "Without me?" Her jaw dropped dramatically as she crawled across the wood floor.

 

Nicole rolled her eyes. "You're drunk."

 

"Sober enough to remember this." Wynonna smirked. "You're smoking with my _sister,_ dude."

 

Nicole could feel the red flushing across her cheeks as Wynonna stared expectantly at both of them. She elbowed Waverly slightly, clearing her throat in an attempt to cover it.

 

"No." Waverly shook her head. "We were, uh-"

 

"Smoking." Wynonna nodded. "I got that."

 

Waverly huffed. "We were not."

 

"Then, why does it smell like weed up here?" Wynonna quirked an eyebrow challengingly. "And how the hell did you get weed, I thought you said you didn't have any." She looked towards Nicole.

 

"Uh," Nicole cleared her throat once again before standing up. "I have to use the bathroom."

 

"I'm gonna show her where it's at." Waverly nodded before standing up and following Nicole.

 

Wynonna furrowed her eyebrows. "She already knows where the bathroom is, though."

  
  
  


Nicole closed the door to the bathroom quickly, leaning against the counter and taking a deep breath. She was nearly calm when the door opened loudly and Waverly came barging in.

 

Her eyes widened as Waverly closed the door behind her. "What if I actually _did_ have to use the bathroom?"

 

Waverly shrugged. "Then, I would've walked in on you?" She said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, causing Nicole to laugh.

 

"We can't do that again." Waverly pointed out.

 

"Smoke?" Nicole snorted. "I think she knows, Waves. There's no point in hiding it now."

 

Waverly groaned. "Great." She leaned against the bathroom door, rubbing her eyes roughly in an attempt to clear her vision before jumping onto the counter and leaning back against the mirror. "How much shit do you think I'll get?"

 

"You?" Nicole laughed. "I think you're fine. Me, on the other hand."

 

"Well, the good part is that she likes you. So, any chances of her killing you are slim."

 

"Great. That makes me feel so much better."

 

Waverly sighed and leaned her head back against the mirror, staring intently at the tiles on the ceiling. Nicole's heart was beating fast from whatever just happened and her breathing was heavy and loud. Every sound echoed in the small bathroom.

 

"You know, we can't just hide in here forever." Nicole stated.

 

She watched as Waverly pulled at the sleeves of her hoodie out of habit. "I live here. I could stay in here for the rest of my life. You have a home, though. I don't think you could get away with it."

 

Nicole scoffed. "I could _so_ get away with it."

 

Waverly gave her an amused look. "Yeah?"

 

"Yes." Nicole replied, crossing her arms across her chest.

 

Waverly sighed again, returning her focus to the ceiling. "You know that conversation we were having before Wynonna so rudely interrupted?"

 

"Yes. I do believe I remember five minutes ago."

 

Waverly cleared her throat, nervously tapping her fingers on the countertop. "Would it be weird to bring up the 'first' thing again?"

 

Nicole gave her a questioning look. "I was just joking, Waves. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything."

 

Waverly rolled her eyes. "Nevermind. It's stupid."

 

"What is?"

 

"What I was going to ask."

 

"Which was?"

 

There a moment of silence before Waverly sat up, leaning her elbows on her knees and looking at Nicole. "Do you want to be my first?"

 

And was the oxygen in here running out? The bathroom was small enough, Nicole was sure of it. She could be hallucinating because there's no way in _hell_ that she just heard that correctly.

 

"What?" She choked out.

 

Waverly chuckled. "Jeez, relax. I just meant kissing, not sex."

 

Nicole's eyes widened as she pushed herself off the counter. "Wh- huh?"

 

Waverly shrugged. Whatever confidence Nicole had previously was nothing compared to the amount Waverly held in this moment. It was like she didn't even realize what she was asking.

 

"I just thought since, you know, you're my first girl crush. It would only be right if you're my first girl kiss. But then, I realized how untrue that statement is because a lot of people have first crushes that aren't their first kiss." She shrugged. "I guess I just want to know what it's like to kiss a girl and I can't really _openly_ do that until I come out, so."

 

Nicole stared at her blankly for a few a minutes, trying to process the words coming from the brunettes lips. The same lips that Nicole has been dreaming about kissing for months now.

 

"I really don't think I'm hearing you correctly." Nicole started but was cut off immediately.

 

"Do you want to kiss me or not?" Waverly asked blatantly.

 

"Uh- I," Nicole took a deep breath. "I don't want to _not_ kiss you."

 

Waverly smirked. "So?"

 

"So, you want me to kiss you?"

 

"Well, when you put it that way I just sound desperate."

 

Nicole chuckled. "I'll tell you what." She prompted. "I'll kiss you but you have to promise not to fall in love with me or anything. I've been told I'm a really great kisser and you know, lesbians have that power-"

 

Waverly rolled her eyes. "Would you shut up and kiss me already?"

 

Nicole sighed before closing the distance between them. Her hands immediately found Waverly's thighs, parting them as she stepped between them. If her heart was racing before, she didn't know what was happening now. Maybe a heart attack, a stroke. Does your heart race when you're having a stroke? Nicole couldn't quite remember.

 

"Okay, wait." Waverly pulled back, causing Nicole to sigh, relieved. "You didn't promise not to fall in love with me, either."

 

Nicole chuckled. "I promise not to fall in love with you."

 

"Okay." Waverly smiled and grabbed Nicole's shoulders, pulling her in closer and wrapping her legs around the redheads waist.

 

Waverly's fingers were soft as they ran through the hair at the nape of Nicole's neck. A trail of fire was left under her touch as Nicole leaned in further.

 

"Wait!" Waverly, once again, pulled back. Nicole rolled her eyes, smiling slightly at the situation.

 

"You know, we don't have to kiss, right?" She asked.

 

Waverly nodded. "No, I know that. It's just, nothing's gonna change, right? You're not gonna act all weird and then start ignoring me for weeks at a time?"

 

Nicole faked a gasp, covering her heart with her hand. "I can't believe you think I'd do that."

 

Waverly raised her eyebrows slightly. "Oh, really? Cause you definitely haven't done that before."

 

Nicole shook her head. "I have not and will not."

 

"So, no running?"

 

"In about two seconds, I'm gonna walk out of this bathroom and never kiss you in your life if you don't stop interrupting." Nicole stated flatly.

 

Waverly sighed. "Fine. Okay, I'm ready."

 

She returned her fingers to Nicole's hair as they both leaned in and this time, there was no stopping, no interruptions, no seconds thoughts. The minute their lips connected, Nicole started to regret not doing this earlier. Then, she started to regret ever making a promise not to fall in love with Waverly because she was fairly certain she was already way past that point and definitely in no position to make that promise.

 

Waverly's fingers tightened and tangled in red hair as Nicole slid her hands across her thighs. The kiss heated up quickly. Probably too quick for just an experimental kiss that shouldn't mean anything. But neither of them stopped. Because finally, Nicole was kissing Waverly and Waverly was kissing her back and it was everything either of them could've dreamed.

 

Waverly trailed her fingers across Nicole's neck before pulling her in closer. Everything was different with a girl, _everything,_ and she'd bask in every second she got to experience this.

 

Nicole's hands found their way to Waverly's hips, squeezing gently before tracing small circles through her leggings. When she slipped her hand underneath the black hoodie, she almost pulled back in fear that she took it too far but then Waverly moaned and ran her tongue across Nicole's bottom lip, and that was all the reassurance Nicole needed to continue.

 

She ran her nails gently over Waverly's abs, moaning at the contact before breaking apart and trailing open mouthed kisses down the brunettes neck. Waverly's nails dug into Nicole's shoulder and if she was wearing a jacket, she probably would've broken the skin.

 

Running her tongue over Waverly's jawline, all of Nicole's senses were heightened. The touches, the sounds, the taste, it was all too much but who didn't love more, right?

 

Nicole jumped back quickly at the sound of the door knob jiggling. She stared at Waverly with wide eyes as Wynonna's shouting flooded through the door.

 

"Open the damn door, you weirdos."

 

Waverly groaned. "You've gotta be kidding me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on Twitter: wlwearp


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